The phrase, "Truth Be Told" has me pondering, how many of us would benefit if our truth was told. Imagine a world where we had circles in which we share our truths, expressing our silences?
The "Truth Be Told" project is for women in prison...you can learn more about them at http://www.truth-be-told.org I have browsed their site and have just a thumbnail sketch of what their mission is.
However, I wondered if we the un-incarcarated women could benefit by speaking out before our lives get so out of control, we do something that lands us in prison.
I know that many of these women come from similar childhoods as mine...."there but the grace of God go I".
To me it is interesting that we as a society are completely wired in 'untruths'.
We tend to see courage in those who speak it; but rarely do most of us glance at our own, let alone explore it in depth.
What would it mean to you if your Truth Be Told?
What changes would your life take?
What relationships would be 'upset' by your truths?
I know that most people live lives where their truth is their best kept secret.
What I believe, is that our subconsciousness (truths) are trying to gain our attention in subtle and not so subtle ways.
I was enraged and I didn't know why.
Once my truth came out....the rage simmered down.
And, the awkwardness of my life righted itself and it became balanced.
Imagine again how many women(and men) in prisons would have been steered onto a different pathway if they lived their truths?
So many have histories as mine...Untreated abuse.
Would their lives make more sense if they could see the natural conclusion from an un-natural childhood?
Annie Roger's book "Annie Rogers: The Unsayable: The hidden language of trauma explains how we act out our truths until we reconcile them with ourselves.
Our truths want to be heard, seen and felt. They will continue to replay our abuse, until we recognize it as abuse and correct the labels of our abusers.
It is painless to have a father; and painful to have a pedophile in its place.
But can they both exist?
What happens to you the victim when you only see a father? Where does your truth go and what is the consequence of that?
I know, in my experience, that I re-created many different relationships where I was powerless...where I was blind to the 'faults' of many. I couldn't see the negatives or when I did, I subconsciously made them positive. It was my job to keep our little secret secret....by treating him as a father and my mother as a mom.
To act out and live your truth is not a journey most of us travel. Especially when there is abuse in our homes. Instead we live with the constant frustration of trying to make a family out of an circle of abusers. We have our roles that don't allow our truths anywhere near us.
The Truth Be Told, needs to be in the schools, churches, and many social circles. We need an early intervention so the prisons are not full of silent victims. And, so our families are not posing untruthfully, but are standing exposing our truths.
I applaud the volunteers who engage with prisoners.
I applaud anyone who dares speak their truths...especially when it upends the applecart of their family's lives. For they are breaking the pattern that destroys children's lives.
If they only knew the impact truth be told would have on the lives of little children.
Perhaps it should be the truth be heard. For it is also my belief that children tell.
They tell, but the parents don't hear.
They don't want to hear that their husband is capable of abuse, that their brother, uncle or grandparent can be anything but what they show to the world.
The truth be told and held is the key to ending abuse.
If you can't be a truth teller, be a truth holder for someone.
Again, how odd is it that we live in a world where our truths are not valued and treasured; but are made to be kept separated from us.
I know to the depth of my being, the prisons house those who lost their way, due to the fact their truths were not honored as children.
I know well intended therapists and healing modalities try and cover up and look beyond and move on from the past. And, the precise moment we stopped being truthful is the moment we turned down the road that led us further and further away from life of peace, love and joy.
When did this adult child begin to hide their truths and why?
I didn't get my family to stand with me and my truths and I know the cost.
The cost to be with my truth is priceless.
And, the cost to be without it...would have cost my children their innocence.
Alice Miller is the only therapist that I am familiar with who understands how the truth of our abusive parents IS the savings grace of our mental and emotional beings.
Without my truth, I would not be me.
I would be a soulless being.
Thank you to all whose truth be told...and for those who hear and honor it!