“The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.”
Peer pressure will always be there, the calling of a group, or the pressure to just go along with everyone else, to keep the peace, to not ruffle feathers, and it is usually at the cost of self.
What I think we instinctively feel is that we will be alone IF we go against the pack and it is usually the case, and nobody wants to be the odd man out.
So, instead of owning yourself, you just go along so you are not alone.
Being alone isn’t seen as a worthy goal, going with the flow and peacefully accepting the group consensus is.
What I find so intriguing is that I feel the draw of being part of a group even if it is dysfunctional and painful group!
My old co-dependency feels frightened to be disconnected and separated. I feel the anxiousness at times of never fitting in or being together like that again.
It is like I have two separate dialogues going on at one time, my free spirit is cheering and celebrating, ‘thank God we don’t have to be part of that ever again,’ and my co-dependency longs to join up, hook up, tag team with anyone, be part of a group of any kind, to fit in and not be dangling free.
Once I can separate who wants what and what I really want, peace settles back in.
What relief that this body is no longer for rent!
I am the owner and caretaker of me!