What an incredible ride, what an awe-inspiring journey, I feel an immense amount of gratitude to be given the opportunity to live beyond the bubble, to find a life outside of denial.
Unless and until you have been totally snowed under by a false belief, where you and reality are an ocean apart, you will not understand the enormity of dissolving denial.
First of all you are the one standing neck deep in denial, and it is from there that you have to dig yourself out, not knowing what is real; your denial or reality.
When I began this journey, when my bubble burst, I thought my reality changed, when in actuality it was my denial that had sprung a leak or collapsed, leaving me without protection.
My husband said that I was like a scared rabbit, and I was. I had no place to hide, to run to or escape, all I saw was the harsh reality in front of me.
Actions that I had previously denied stood enormously obvious! I had no choice now but to see and to feel what each action felt like.
Living with all your nerves exposed, with no shield to protect you, a turtle without its shell.
What I believe is while you are in denial; you deny your emotions a life. You can’t feel them. They don’t exist in the bubble, for that is why we built the bubble to escape feelings; they were far to terrifying to feel.
Emotionally immature is how we get left.
We left our emotions behind and our bodies grew.
Emotionally stunted we live awkwardly in this world.
The picture I now have, the overview and the application of denial, the land that we build and live in, leaves me in utter disbelief.
Abuse while hurtful to the physical body, is nothing compared to being sentenced into the land of denial.
What I am now seeing is that some get a life sentence and some 40 plus years.
I do not know what makes the denial bubble burst, how some have a stronger bubble than others, but denial is built from the inside out and I am thinking that it is the only way out.
The one who built it is the one who takes it down.
I sit in awe, I sit in gratitude, I sit in reality bubble-less.
The definition of denial, refusal to acknowledge existence of something: a refusal to believe in something or admit that something exists.
What we have to admit to is the bubble we live in and not the reality that has always been there.
What we ultimately deny is our self.
Alive but unaware, that is denial!