Where Your Best Interests Lie.

I believe reality or truth stands alone, splendid and perfectly brilliant, and we all see it from our own life experiences.

The topic is abuse.  We all know what it is.  There are no doubts or contention on that, what we are seemingly arguing about is what side do you stand upon.  What side do you believe or do you believe it at all?

There is the side of the perpetrator or the side of the person recounting her/his childhood story, whose side do you hear about and what do you hear, what makes sense and what doesn’t make sense, and what does a victim gain by going public and what does the perpetrator gain by being silent and supported?

Sometimes we pick our side by what we would do.

What takes more courage to stand alone speaking of the unspeakable in hopes of stopping this insanity or of remaining silent?

And why do you pick to speak or not to speak?

Is it fear of who you are or what you have to lose?

Is it fear of the repercussions or fear of remaining silent and what that is doing to who you are?

At one point all who read Jim’s story or mine will pick a side of belief of disbelief, and I believe it has nothing to do with our facts or the usage of the English language, which I believe Jim is a natural born story teller.

I instead believe that the side you stand upon all is predisposed; it is where you have walked in this life.

It has more to do with what you stand to lose compared to what we have to say.

How invested is your life in the FALC or in the fact that the Torola’s remain free of abuse? 

There is very little vested interest in my family for we are converts, a one family family within the church.  No Aunts, Uncles or cousins, just us.  No preachers or founding fathers, no long lineage, just one big family, with only two brothers remaining in ‘faith’. 

I am thinking we were not important FALC people; our abuse didn’t affect anyone but us.  It didn’t spill over into the faith of anyone or would it wiggle their beliefs.

It was our dirty little secret in a bubble, a zit on the face of the FALC, but not the make up or integrity of the FALC.

People reading our stories have more to lose by believing in Jim, than believing in me.  You can believe in me and keep your faith, but when you believe in Jim, your faith begins to wobble; you will have to face the fact that abuse may travel backwards to the creators of the FALC.

My lineage is of no bearings to you, the only folks who get up in arms about my writing is my family of origin, for they have lots invested in the Huhta name and the integrity of their parents.

Interesting to see that you will fall to the side where you best interests lie.

 

Comments

[Erin]

That makes so much sense! Very wonderfully put! However much you are invested in the FALC or in certain people or families in the FALC will determine what "side" you stand on.

[Shari]

Whether I believe Jim or not has no impact on my faith. If I believe him, my faith would not wobble. Why should it? This happens in every church. I know the Catholic church is always in the news for it. There is no question abuse exists everywhere. It happened to you and many others. I believe you. My heart aches for you. I strongly feel if someone is an abuser, they should be held responsible for their actions in a court of law. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. Once reported, it is then up to the court system to take care of it. This is how I feel. I am not hiding. I am still proud to say I am an Apostolic Lutheran. I am 100% vested in the church and I stand on the side of the victims. You can have both.

[I M Perfect]

Shari, I know not your last name, where you come from or your history with abuse, all I know is you are 100% FALC.

I too used to be you, and then I had to bring abuse into my faith and it failed me miserably, okay 100%.

Isn't it funny you believe in it 100% and I believe it not 100%.

Two different journeys.

I brought abuse to my faith and it fell right through.

My 'faith' meant nothing in the face of abuse. You will believe in it as long as it serves you well.

Just be wary...and don't put all your eggs in one basket.

[Shari]

I come from 2 loving parents. I was born and raised in IL and now live in MI. My husband is not a member, nor are his siblings or parents. I have no history of any form of abuse and pray that it never touches my family. How can God fail you? Yes, people you loved and cared for failed you, but not God. God is good. He is what carried you through.

[I M Perfect]

Shari, while you gave me statistics, you left out who you are. I will continue, for we are making headway :)

You mistakenly assumed I left God, I can't leave God, he is within me, around me...there is no place God is not. While some feel that the 'real' God is only found in the FALC, I can prove you all wrong, for he came with me when I left.

When I said my 'Faith' failed me, it was that I believed in the forgiveness of sins, that they had this magical power to clean you up....so you can enter Heaven when you die. And then I found my father wasn't clean after all. My mother wasn't clean, no one was. My wounds and bad behaviors didn't change no matter how many times I was forgiven.

To me the main thrust of the 'Faith' is to believe in the forgiveness of sins.

I am hear to tell you it doesn't work. All that happens is you believe this in your head and perhaps your heart, but in real life on the real ground, the person has not changed.

The Faith of the FALC, isn't the faith in God, it is playing god and changing reality, taking a sin and wiping it away.

Here is the deal Shari, many many christians seen who my father was and blessed him.

While I know you say, you would report and that abuse isn't tolerable. I am again telling you, it is tolerable for IT did happen.

Tell me I am wrong, but the most affective tool being used in church for 'sins' is to say a few words and to BELIEVE that they no longer exist.

Guess what. Each time a pedophile gets blessed in the church, a wounded child sits UNCHANGED. He/she is still suffering the affects of that sin.

God in Heaven can't change what happens.
The bell has been rung.
My rape by my father planted terror in my body, that no amount of forgiveness could ever erase.

He changed me at a DNA level, and the only way I have been able to come back to feeling whole and healed is by facing what happened, instead of 'trying' to erase it away.

Shari, the truth literally can set you free in a way that forgiveness of sins was never able to do.

Please email me, if you don't want to make a public disclosure of who you are.

I am faithless in the FALC, but am 100% with the power of God. In the end, we all stand alone and have a life review.