Not grasping what is meant by the term Truth, is the key to all of life.
What does it mean if you can't grasp or know truth? How are you taught this or perhaps not taught this? Is there a class where you can understand the terminology of truth?
There seems to be a fluidity with words when there is no body of truth behind them...words are meaningless unless you attach Truth Feelings.
The only power words have are the truth feelings that ride along with them, if there is no power of truth, then they just are letters arranged and sounds being spoken.
What I am not certain of is how you teach truth feelings...and how to utter them instead of words with the opposite feeling attached.
Or, perhaps this is just the wiring defect with those of us who have been abused, where we are not able to speak what we feel or feel what is the truth.
A Lie Detector doesn't detect wrong words, but actually how we are feeling when we utter the words...it is monitoring the body. So what the lie detector really detects are feelings that don't match the sentence being spoken.
Somehow when we are abused, we have to begin Pretending how we feel, instead of how we actually feel. This could be due to threats of violence or shame in speaking out, we hide the FEELINGS of abuse.
I believe we learn that hiding our TRUE FEELINGS is what is needed in order for many things to continue on as 'normal'....and so we do.
We now have learned to say things we don't mean or feel....we have separated our body of feelings from the words we speak.
So then our words do not have the support of our true feelings.
"Being Impeccable with your Words" as Don Miguel Ruiz says, means that our words match what we feel. I had to look up the word Impeccable....
"In accordance with the highest standards of propriety; faultless."
This may be the greatest tragedy of abuse, where we learn to separate what we feel and what we say...we lose our grasp on expressing our feelings truthfully and hold on to the illusion of what is not.
Our power isn't lost in the act of abuse, our power is lost when we can't speak of how it made us feel...When we can't be truthful with our feelings after, when we have to go back and now pretend nothing happened or to make nice.
The disconnection between what we feel and what we say is when we start abusing ourselves...
We disregard how we feel in order to keep the relationship, the family, the 'love' of thy father and thy mother, we fail to grasp and hang on to our feelings of what is true for us...and instead make sure they get what they want and what feels good for them.
The dance of the offender/victim fails to operate when the victim finally stands up and demands that their feelings be considered.
While many want to put full blame on the Offenders, there is a second party involved who agrees with this dance, and the game ends when the victim decides that she/he is allowed to bring forth her true feelings.
While many think this is a battle of words or powerful actions, it is actually a game of whose feelings will be honored...whose feelings are of greater value?
What I have come to know, is that abusive parents, believe that their feelings matter more, have a higher slot on the scale of life, and that their children must submit and acquiesce their feelings.
It is the acquiescing of their truth and feelings...Accept something reluctantly but without protest...that makes them the perfect victim.
And in doing so, learn to live without grasping the meaning of truthfulness...for to be truthful is to be without a family.
They willingly give up their truth feelings to save a family...yet all they are really doing is allowing the Offender to go on.
If only, all my 46 years of living without adhering to my feelings bought to bear a loving father and a supportive mother, then it wouldn't have been all for naught, but it was.
No matter how much I suppressed my feelings, it didn't magically create them differently. All that happened is that I suppressed what I felt. That is all.
Even when I unleashed all that I felt, nothing really changed. They didn't suddenly SEE what they had done and then changed. Nope, all that happened is I began to walk impecably with how I felt.
I no longer suppressed and hid what I felt.
I took grasp once again of my feelings and held on...for it was clear to me, I was holding on to truth...
Suppressing the truth doesn't change anything, it only prolongs the inevitable. I had to look up SUPPRESSING...
To Prevent the Development, action or expression of a feeling, impulse, idea...restrain.
So, instead of holding firmly on to family, We are holding back the feelings of fear, loss, betrayal, hurt, sorrow...
We don't want to feel those feelings attached to our parents.
And in not owning or being truthful with the negative feelings, we betray all our feelings...we loose our impeccable word.