When someone you love lies to you, what does it mean? Does it mean I am not worthy of the truth? Do lies only work for people of less value? What does it mean to be lied to? And who is to blame for lies entering into a relationship?
I sat with my value. It didn't appear to have changed, even after lies, I remained the same. I was lied to, but it didn't lower my value.
I even looked up what lies mean..."a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an intentional untruth; a falsehood. 2. something intended or serving to convey a false impression..."
It appears to me, that when someone lies, they are trying to be someone they are not.
It's about their character...trying to paint it different; a false impressionist painting.
What I also know of me, is that I have a very hard time being in a relationship when deception arrives. I can't pretend to pretend it isn't there. My old gullible self has died. I now see lies as being a falsehood and I don't waver.
What I also know is that in keeping a secret it will require lies. I am not talking about surprises and gifts, I am talking about life's choices, how when you decide to begin a secret, you are really beginning to hone your skills at lying.
You simply cannot retain your character of integrity and authenticity when you harbor a secret. It changes who you are. It isn't so much what you are hiding, but rather what it does to your character.
Secrets add a component of falsehood to who you are.
You are no longer authentic.