When I have been contemplating and writing about everyday heroes, it came to me the twist between domestic violence campaign and how we view incest. In the first we are raising awareness campaigns and urging them to leave the abusers. And, in the second, children/adult children are made to feel heartless for leaving a family and even urged unwittingly to remain in the relationship.
Why is it that we see a woman who escapes her abuser as being in a better place away from the abuse.
And when a child leaves their family it isn't seen as kind or even beneficial to them.
If divorcing a family was a socially acceptable option for being abused as a child, we would have much less stigma.
Just as Freud found in the late 1800's, that when mistreatment of children caused hysteria in later years, he knew that the biggest obstacle he was up against wasn't the fact that his findings would not be accepted, but rather that the population wasn't willing to see the parents as responsible for a negative influence.
What I have been banging my head against is the false positive read most have on parents. Period.
It doesn't matter the trauma they inflict, they remain in the light of love and honor; most refusing to lower them from their lofty stand.
Animals in nature, who turn against their offspring are seen as an anomaly.
Parents who strike out, are verbally abuse, as well as engage in sexual activities with their offspring are not granted this same title.
And, those who see clearly this unnatural behavior are then labeled as the anomaly...and I guess we are. A small percentage of the population can even see the wrongness of sexual abuse WHEN it occurs In THEIR family.
Which makes denial among family abnormally normal...and those of us who can see the anomaly...not normal...among those whose normal is abnormal.
Divorce is normal for those who have been victimized within a relationship of marriage...where the abuser fails change; the relationship must.
Estrangement will someday be a normal extension of healing from childhood abuse...
It is not the disbelief of our sexual abuse, but rather the disbelief that parents are unloving.