"If you avoid conflict to keep the peace, you start a war inside yourself." Cheryl Richardson.
How often do you avoid conflict?
How often do you create a war within you in order to keep a friendship or relationship?
How often do you lose a friendship in order to keep peace inside?
I used to be the biggest peacemaker on the Outside...while a million little wars raged on the inside. I would explode for minor causes....and swallow my truths to keep the outside smiling...while wearing a fake smile with gritted teeth.
My inner peace is most important.
It is all I have to identify myself with.
It is the barometer that I lead my life from.
When angst, turmoil, and an upset gut feeling happens....I respond.
When an untruth is trying to convince me to its truth...I resist.
Coming from denial, my aim now is to be as aware as I can to me and my outside world. To see What Is....and be with it.
I used to be identified or labeled from the outside.
I didn't know me on the inside; for I had denied her to the point of nonexistence.
In order to find me, to be me, I had to start speaking and living from the inside out.
And, it did cause a stir.
For I had relationships based on lies to myself.
They were in a relationship with someone that wasn't true.
I am now true to me.
At the frustration and annoyance of some.
I refuse to bend and capitulate for their ease or comfort or peace.
I refuse to be in conflict with myself.
In the past, I created two of me. The outward peacemaker and the one who was denied.
Now there is only one.
It was to have died and to be reborn.
It took courage and huge amounts of bravery to live from the inside out and to lose so much. But, the alternative was to live without me. To live as a facade of me.
While I lost much; I gained even more.
And that which I gained has substance.
Unknown depths and adventures.
The brilliance of being Me.
I make no apologies for who I am.
I will not die as me, in order to agree.
The truest conflict there ever is....Is between you and YOU.
Who are you....Inside?
How much of you have you denied?
Is the fullest view of you....from the outside....or the inside?
I am making Angels. I feel them as the energies that have helped me be Me.
The Angel of courage....to be Me.
and, the Angel of Love....dancing with Peace!