How a person with the least amount of self-esteem or self-worth can dominate a relationship has astounded me. How is it possible for the least among us, to overpower each encounter? It didn't seem even rational, how the lowest in worth could possibly dominate.
It finally made sense to me.
It isn't that they are emitting less energy, but have the most violent need.
Their inner need is on high volume due to their lack of self awareness and worth.
A person who is whole and less needy will not be seeking so violently.
When you have so little worth, your energy need is screaming so loudly to be fulfilled.
Their fear tones overwhelm and push back love.
It is to scream in a peaceful church.
The scream will be noticed over the peaceful silence.
I can see how dysfunctional relationships work, where two people's need energies need to be filled. How you work to keep the energy volume turned down low, by dancing and fulfilling their need. Their screaming life threatening need to be served.
Two empty tanks looking outside for others to fill them.
Some may think this is an over exaggeration.
However, if you ever have had a relationship with someone who seems to be okay, and then suddenly erupts, you know, that the eruption is their base level need. And, it is time again to feed the need.
The need is unending.
It will be appeased for awhile and then arise.
What I know to be true, is that once I was able to see my heat seeking missile of no self, I was now in charge of my volume.
When I had no separate self, when there was no Me in me, I was extremely needy.
I needed to control.
I needed to feel loved.
I needed to be needed.
I needed you to fill me.
To complete me.
To love me.
To define me.
To make me pretty, lovable, kind, happy, joyful, etc.
I was powerless and therefore extremely loud in my needs and fears.
When, I started to empower myself and define me, the volume started to lessen.
My control of others lost its taste.
I only craved personal empowerment.
All my needs, desires and loves are inside of me.
I need nothing from the outside world.
I have no desire to control anyone.
My life, my self, my emotions, feelings and expressions are where I want to be focused.
What is the quote, "Be the change you want to see in the world".
The screaming energies of folks with no self will never be satisfied. For they are screaming at themselves. They are the ones they are waiting for.
Our world and relationships are only as good as the one with the least amount of self.
The more empowered each person is, the stronger the relationship.
The less need, the more value.
What used to scare me was when someone needed nothing from me.
Now, I am the most at peace with those without a need from me.
All our needs are of our Self.
All the screams I used to scream were trying to get myself to hear me.
Which is why Byron Katie is so brilliant, when she turns the "You" into "I".
Each time I feel out of control or feel a need from 'someone'...I know to look inside to see where I am not doing something that I need to do.
A free spirit is one without needs!
To lovingly accept what is.
To feel complete love inside.