When two sides can't find common ground, how do you find a foothold?
How can we hold on to our own values and morals when others believe in the opposite?
When ignorance isn't so much that they don't know; but it feels they ignore the truth?
I believe, we all have to rub up against things that insult our values, in order to strengthen what we believe and to find out who we truly are.
I listened to NPR yesterday and a man suggested that the Norwegian countries were mostly the same and they didn't have as much conflict; there is no one different than them.
In America, we are the melting pot. We have the opportunity to experience diversity and learn about other traditions. And, yet sometimes we act like we live in Finland...and we are all the same; that we come from the same paths, traditions, and we look exactly alike.
I also believe, instead of trying to change their minds, it is important we continue growing as a person. To expand and stretch our own concepts of humanity. To look inwardly and see our own prejudices. Even to learn how others see you.
What is their experience of you, shows you the other side.
Recently, I was given a view of me that I had not seen or even contemplated.
That I am an "UnSafe" person.
I was shocked and I reeled from this truth for a day.
Me, a woman who speaks out loud, who breaks the silence of abuse, IS unsafe?
How?
It has always been my intention to empower women. To give them a voice and a choice.
My journey for myself has been to find peace, love and joy.
To be more spiritually connected to the spirit of me. To align my feelings, my truth with my voice and my actions. To live a life of authenticity. How, then can I ever be unsafe?
How am I hurtful?
As the conversation continued, I understood completely how this is so....for some.
My outspoken, breaking the silence of abuse voice, is a sign that IF an abused women is seen with me, she is thinking or seeking to be like me. I am a threat to her abuser. And, it places her in more danger to be seen talking to the "likes" of me.
What I hadn't considered was the consequences for the abused.
For those un-empowered.
How even those who are planning on rising up, cannot show their rise of revolt.
At first, I shed tears for the added pain I caused.
I then shed tears for me, for my aloneness, even from woman who like me, have experienced abuse. I make their lives worse, not better. I cannot be their friend.
After a few days of sitting in this new truth of me, I came to believe that I am a threat.
And, a promise.
A hope on the horizon.
That it is possible to leave the ashes of abuse and rise.
I am a sign.
While I have been treated like a leper, it wasn't all about Me.
It was more directed at their own personal landscapes; I was shunned in order for them to save face.
To keep their worlds spinning with the least amount of damage.
The absence I have felt, the silent voices not joining me, were at times a very heavy burden to carry. To stand often as one, against the many.
I felt I had to be stronger, just to carry being me.
And, I was drawn to other strong women.
Individuals who were often black sheep, badasses, misfits and rebels.
Women whose lives gave them obstacles to rise against.
Strong women are not born; we are made by what we overcome.
I can stand stronger today, knowing that I am not only a threat to the abusers; but the horizon of hope.
How you see me, depends upon where you stand.
I am willing to stand alone.
Willing to be shunned.
In order for women to know it is possible.
To escape the legacy of abuse.
To find the You, you were born to be!
I am your very loud and visual cheerleader - cheering you on.
I will now look upon the silences without judgement.
For, forgive me, I didn't know.
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