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You can look at other "faiths" but I think as persons faith is a part of their heart and soul. I can't give mine up- I can only nurture it. I do read a lot and try to develop it though . But on the subject of the narrative I was born into- I know it formed me into a very insecure person who always felt ugly, unloved, dumb, outcast, unworthy, and afraid. In a bible study many years ago- we did the trust exercise- where you let yourself fall backwards into others arms. I could not do it- try as I might- I was sure they would let me fall. It has taken so many years to gain any sense of confidence in what I CAN do. Trust- confidence- lack of fear..... All a very long journey for some of us. My bible study friends would say- fear is not faith- --but I think having grown up with a strong father figure and a family they could count on- -- well they had no idea how it is to be instilled with fear. Normal is different for some of us.

Judy, my idea of looking into another's faith wasn't about leaving yours; but entering theirs. To see how they believe and why.

We do learn about ourselves by how our parents treated us. It would be more abnormal for you to have come from where you came with a sense of self love and trust in others. You are responding exactly as you should, coming from whence you came.

Now, though, we get to decide how the story ends. Do you believe their idea of you or can you create a new narrative about yourself?

I recall shortly after my father made the paper and the TV, letting the Heaven's know, this was not going to define me. I have been working now on re-defining my self worth from inside out. It isn't easy; but it is so worth it. It comes with doing one thing different.

For me, I had to set up boundaries against the things that lowered my self-worth or was unloving to me.

How interesting about the exercise of trusting others.
I am sure my trust level has been damaged.

Thanks again for sharing, and being you!!

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Women In New Directions

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Books, signposts along the way.

  • Annie Rogers: A Shining Affliction: A Story of Harm and Healing in Psychotherapy
  • Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic - Creative Living Beyond Fear
  • Brene Brown: Daring Greatly
  • Martha Beck: Leaving the Saints
  • Glennon Doyle Melton: Love Warrior
  • Byron Katie: Loving What Is
  • Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor: My Stroke Of Insight
  • Sheryl Sandberg, Adam Grant: Option B - Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy
  • Brene Brown: Rising Strong
  • Shefali Tsabary: The Awakened Family
  • Patrick J. Carnes Ph.D: The Betrayal Bond
  • Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.: The Body Keeps Score
  • Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.: The Body Keeps Score - Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
  • Alice Miller: The Body Never Lies
  • Dr. Shefalie Tsabary: The Conscious Parent
  • Laura Landgraf: The Fifth Sister- From Victim to Victor
  • Brene Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection
  • Christina Enevoldsen: The Rescued Soul - A writing journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal
  • Annie Rogers: The Unsayable: The hidden language of trauma
  • Steven Pressfield: The War of Art
  • Alice Miller: Thou Shalt Not Be Aware
  • Rythea Lee: Trauma into Truth - Gutsy Healing and Why Its Worth It
  • Iyanla Vanzant: Trust
  • Rob Bell: Velvet Elvis
  • Norah Vincent: Voluntary Madness- Lost and Found in the Mental Healthcare System
  • Terry L. Wise: Waking Up: Climbing through the Darkness
  • Dr. Karyl McBride: Will I Ever Be Good Enough
  • Shonda Rhimes: Year of Yes


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