What is always curious to me, is when people come upon my blog and my writings about abuse within the First Apostolic Lutheran Church, rarely is there any concern. More often there is righteous defense for its honor.
Here is a comment from yesterday about a blog back in February 2012
"I too grew up in the 1st Apostolic Lutheran Church. I, however, never once heard of abuse among any families from this church, and I know quite a number of people from the church. Sexual abuse is considered highly taboo within this church and culture; in fact, having sexual relations outside of marriage or before marriage is taboo as well. It is quite unfortunate that you experienced this from your own father. This was indeed a rare, abnormal occurrence. However, linking your perverse familial abuse with the church is really unfair and defamatory, as this personal experience of yours shows up when you Google the First Apostolic Lutheran Church. If you had been abused by other members within the church, it would be fair to defame the church; however, it seems you only have your father to blame."
First, I love that my blog pops up when you Google the church.
Secondly, I would love that my experience was rare and abnormal occurrence. However, over the past 13 years, all the victims that I have come in contact with, either by this blog or by my speaking out, have shown me that my story is not unique.
What this person fails to appreciate is that I am not special, my perverse familial abuse is completely wide spread within the church. Just because they themselves are not aware, doesn't make our experiences untrue.
My experiences have been collaborated time and time again.
When will the silent voices be the outrage and not the false honor of the church?
I am breaking the taboo and speaking out.
This person can no longer say they haven't heard of ANY, for now you have read mine.
How naive it is to believe, that when a church declares it a taboo, that it would be so.
While I can appreciate that they themselves have never heard about it among any families, they are not listening to me. I am here to tell you it is so.
The taboo is happening.
Often we cannot see the forrest for the trees.
If you are born in captivity, would you be able to see the bars?
This blog isn't for those who don't believe. It is for those who have been abused and feel like their story is indeed rare.
You are not alone.
I am here.
It is not your fault.
May you find the strength and courage to walk free.
To be the you, you were born to be.
It is my hope that one day our voices can ring loud enough to collapse the pillars of this institution.
One voice is the start of making it shake.
Having faith in the taboo not happening, is not as important as having doubts.
Doubts are the first step to knowing.
Wouldn't you rather know it is there, than to assume it isn't.
Truth is, it doesn't need your faith against.
Why isn't your first question, "What can I do to help the children, the victims etc?"
Defending the church is most often the response.
I get it.
It is your way to heaven.
If your way was littered with victims, it would be harder to believe.
Losing your faith in the church reduces your chance at Heaven.
Leaving victims to fight alone, is the consequence of your faith in the church.
Our collective stories will never weigh more than your faith in a heaven one day.
Surely mine isn't enough to cause a mustard seed of doubt.
Believe if you must in the church.
Just know, that the truth is sitting with you as you sing "Bless Be the Tie..."
My blog, my story...echoes in so many lives, fragments of similarity.
May you have God's Peace.