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You are very kind and very thoughtful and you work hard to improve the lives of others. I think you handle things the way we all should---so honestly- in that you do not allow yourself to be walked on.You are inspiring me to be as honest in my relationships with others as i am in my daily dealings of life.If i am accidently refunded too much or undercharged--i will go back and return what is not mine.I am over zealous in trying to be honest. Yet--in relationships--how often do i stuff feelings? I am realizing that it is not honest to do this and it is also not healthy.It is never too late to learn....and I am open to learning!

Good for you! You were being intolerant but kind to yourself! Allowing boundaries is a good thing. Why do they seek anonymity...a question for them to answer. Well done Beth. Lori June

Awesome Judy in being open to learning about yourself and your relationships!

Honesty isn't often seen or even felt, with great appreciation. I however feel that it is the base of everything. We are only as good as the truth we share with each other.

Lori, I too wonder about why they feel the need to be anonymous. I truly don't get it. Let alone want to be part of a relationship where I don't know the other person. And, how can a relationship even start with one person hiding their identity. And, for them to be upset with me because I won't engage in the dark.

All in all, I LOVE the idea of excessive tolerance, for I believe it is the base of most kindness. Their inability to put up boundaries, is then identified as being 'kind' due to their excessive tolerance.

This idea has answered my feelings of being seen as unkind, when I truly feel that I am setting boundaries. I guess, my tolerance level is very low to most. And, I am certain, the more work I have done on myself, the lower the tolerance.

You are kinder than most. Tolerating bad behavior is not kind to anyone especially yourself. Kindness starts at home meaning with me. If I'm not kind to me first than I can not tolerate others behavior cause I judge myself against their behaviors. I know
My threshold as do you. Being kind to oneself makes us more empathetic to others behaviors but I think tolerating that negative behavior doesn't make us kind. It makes us apathetic.

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Women In New Directions

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Books, signposts along the way.

  • Annie Rogers: A Shining Affliction: A Story of Harm and Healing in Psychotherapy
  • Elizabeth Gilbert: Big Magic - Creative Living Beyond Fear
  • Brene Brown: Daring Greatly
  • Martha Beck: Leaving the Saints
  • Glennon Doyle Melton: Love Warrior
  • Byron Katie: Loving What Is
  • Dr. Jill Bolte-Taylor: My Stroke Of Insight
  • Sheryl Sandberg, Adam Grant: Option B - Facing Adversity, Building Resilience, and Finding Joy
  • Brene Brown: Rising Strong
  • Shefali Tsabary: The Awakened Family
  • Patrick J. Carnes Ph.D: The Betrayal Bond
  • Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.: The Body Keeps Score
  • Bessel Van Der Kolk, M.D.: The Body Keeps Score - Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
  • Alice Miller: The Body Never Lies
  • Dr. Shefalie Tsabary: The Conscious Parent
  • Laura Landgraf: The Fifth Sister- From Victim to Victor
  • Brene Brown: The Gifts of Imperfection
  • Christina Enevoldsen: The Rescued Soul - A writing journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal
  • Annie Rogers: The Unsayable: The hidden language of trauma
  • Steven Pressfield: The War of Art
  • Alice Miller: Thou Shalt Not Be Aware
  • Rythea Lee: Trauma into Truth - Gutsy Healing and Why Its Worth It
  • Iyanla Vanzant: Trust
  • Rob Bell: Velvet Elvis
  • Norah Vincent: Voluntary Madness- Lost and Found in the Mental Healthcare System
  • Terry L. Wise: Waking Up: Climbing through the Darkness
  • Dr. Karyl McBride: Will I Ever Be Good Enough
  • Shonda Rhimes: Year of Yes


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