Martha Beck wrote about honesty check-ins. Where you set a timer and when the buzzer rings throughout your day, you see if what you are doing is in agreement with your truth.
"At your first few honesty check-ins, you may notice nothing at all. Or you may feel only a twitch of nerves, a wisp of sadness. Ask yourself, What could this sensation be trying to tell me? If no answer arises, that's okay. Just write "I don't know," set the timer again, and repeat. Your truth is like a wild animal; if it's been attacked or suppressed, it may take some time to show itself. Be gentle. With time and repetition, you'll eventually connect."
"When a new truth comes up, it may be a simple yes or no, or a flood of realizations: Maybe you don't want to say no to your mother for fear of losing her love. Or you hate business trips (that's why you always get migraines on planes!) Or you're dying to be outdoors, not cooped up inside. Write down everything without judgement. If your smack-dab in pure authenticity, write about the joy. If you've been lying until your pants burst into flames, write about the misery and anger."
"An honesty day is a hero's saga. With each check-in, you'll come closer to your real moment-to-moment truth. As the Good Book says, that alone is enough to set you free. Over time, when you become more aware of the ways you deceive yourself, you may begin making subtle (or not so subtle) behavior shifts. You may choose authenticity more often. Obligations may become unbearable. Unwanted relationships will wither; better ones will blossom."
"This is addictive stuff. My own honesty day led to another, then a week, a year, and then an indefinite commitment. Take it from me: You're about to change your life. The more honest you are, the more you'll find yourself doing what you love, with people you love, in places you love. You'll realize that nothing really true is unloving, and nothing unloving is ever really true. That wild creature, your true self, will come to meet you, then guide you home, one day at a time. Honestly." Martha
What I LOVE about this concept is this one line. "That nothing really true is unloving!"
And, she is so right. The more truthful I became in my life, the more there was to love about it.
If you are not loving your life, there is a real good chance you are not being your honest self as you respond to life.
I will try and make checks today, to see what I am doing and how I feel about it.
I don't like how I feel when I am doing something I don't want to do. There truly is a huge difference between what I love and what I don't love.
My body feels completely different.
Between light and excitement and weight and dread.
What is true for you, is loving.
And, "nothing unloving is ever really true".
You simply can't love yourself if you are unable to be true.
Love and truth are one.