It seems to me that we are a society of "Excessive Tolerance".
We place the well being on society changing BY us being more kind.
Rendering a good portion of society incapable of improving. Keeping them LESS, and we are More.
Being Kinder, adds to our column of self-worth.
Who would you be without the worth of kindness?
What would happen IF you became honest instead of kind?
We have a strange way of not setting boundaries with folks closest to us; out of kindness.
It is as if to say, our family is incapable of honoring and respecting our boundaries.
IF this is so, how have they been taught to believe this?
Who set in place the dynamics of family and each person's responsibility?
How is it, that many families, have those who have bad behavior that the 'kinder' folks have to tolerate...excessively!
This lopsided awkward family relationship most likely was set in place as we watched our parents interact and even how we were made to act with our parents.
I know that I was raised in with this lopsided awkward gait when it comes to family relationships.
In fact, I was the 'kind' one for 46 years.
It was my identity and my value.
Funny, how we feel better tolerating poor behavior. We need and like the "Better" feelings this brings.
In fact, the hardest part of being estranged IS being seen as 'unkind' due to my boundaries.
It was as if my excessive tolerance had hit its bursting point.
I could literally not tolerate the sheer volume of behavior that I was being asked to tolerate.
It blew up my tolerance holder.
I literally can't even begin to overlook, look around and shy away from what others do.
And, I am taking total control of my own responsibility button.
I do not expect that kindness will keep me in a relationship.
I have to do my part.
And, this too isn't easy.
I was raised in lazy relationships, where no matter what I did, family kept family around.
They were kind that way.
Until, I my tolerance ran out.
I couldn't pretend their actions didn't matter.
And, still do.
My actions matter.
My life is made or unmade by how I act.
Who I am isn't made by the kindness of others.
That codependent lifestyle is long gone.
Codependency eclipsed my inner self.
In fact, I didn't exist, when others looked away.
I danced, acted, talked and did so that others were kind to me.
I was a puppet for kindness.
Devoid of a self.
Between religion moving me back and forth, and my need to please, my life was not mine to live.
This idea of excessive tolerance, actually needs to be addressed as excessive kindness.
We act like dropping kindness over poor behavior will make the behavior disappear or be reversed.
I believe the kindest thing we can do for ourself and others is to be intolerant.
Face everything as it happens, as it is, and dance with reality's truth.
Humanity is coming to a new level of awareness and consciousness, where we will all be asked to see who we are, what we do and how our actions affect the generations who follow us.
Which leads to the book I love "The Body Keeps Score".
We can pour kindness over bad behavior; but the body knows this is not the answer.
Our legacy, our children and their children will live out the affects of abuse, unless we are the ones who address it, and not be kind to it.
The only kindness that will literally change the trajectory of each generation beyond us, is self-kindness.
We have to be the change WE want to see in the world.
Being kind to me, has brought me much pain and separation; and brilliant exciting adventures of Me!
Intolerance is the way forward!
Ride like the Wind towards your own happiness, love, peace and joy!