"Curiosity and Complaining are two fundamentally different postures."
"The problem with complaining, is complaining is energy spent, that you could have spent asking questions.
The problem with blaming other people and blaming them two months later, and two years later, is that Blaming takes energy. Blaming takes energy and its energy that you could spend asking questions.
What did I Learn? What will I do differently. How will I recognize it the next time it comes around?
Needy, draining people, rarely have questions. Because if you have questions and you're curious, then you have entered into the accumulation of wisdom, and you probably won't be as needy and draining as you used to be." Rob Bell
What I love about this idea, is that it truly flips around your focus from the outside back to you.
And, it is so empowering.
I know, that when I was able to ask myself, for example - "Why am I waiting on a call from someone who doesn't call?" It freed me to no longer wait. I wasn't complaining about why they didn't call, I was more looking at why I was waiting.
Asking questions of yourself is so liberating and you get to know who you are and why you do what you do.
It leaves others doing their own business and you are too busy asking questions to complain.
I have found, that most often complaining is wishing others would do something. Being curious about our relationships is so enthralling. It brings you to the present of how the relationship is. Which, I guess is why most don't ask. They truly don't want to know if and when a relationship is over.
For most often, when you stop complaining and start asking questions, the relationship ends. But, it was most likely over a long time ago. You are just now catching on.
Curiosity doesn't try and make things how you would like them; but rather how it is. You may lose family and friends when you become curious.
Curiosity is looking for what is.
It is a reality seeker.
Or, perhaps curiosity only works if you are interested in seeking the truth, authenticity and reality.
Otherwise, complaining keeps you engage in something that is no longer working.
You are connected, but complaining about it.
I have very little to complain about. If anything.
If there is a complaint, that means I have to research what I am doing and why?
In moments where complaints seem appropriate, most often, there is an imbalance.
Some imbalances are okay short term. But, if they go on too long, 'something' needs to change.
Either the way you think about it or literally doing something different.
Complainers really are energy suckers. And, they appear unwilling to change their life situations and feel that complaining is doing something - I guess.
Complaining is a waste of time - it doesn't spark the creative energies of change.
It doesn't change you and it certainly doesn't change someone else.
You can ask for what you need. You might get it.
But, I am more curious as to why you don't move, change, begin, etc.
I see complainers as standing in one place "hoping" things will change.
Life passes you by as you complain in hope.
There truly is wisdom when you begin to question. Often that wisdom is not welcome.
We don't want to know know know, that our sister doesn't care.
Nor do we want to know how we settle for so little.
A crumb; now and again.
More often, we don't know who to create a relationship that has mutual respect and the pendulum swings from giving and receiving.
Question asking brings awareness.
This awareness often feels sad and hopeless.
But, it is only the state of the relationship you may have with yourself.
You are not asking for more.
I didn't get more from my family of origin.
I got more from myself.
With that, came boundaries and expectations for me.
I began creating an authentic relationship with myself.
The freedom I have to be me, say what I need to say, do what I need to do, and allows others to do the same.
I no longer wait for a phone call that didn't want to be made.
Nor, do I wait for a caring mother.
I mothered Me.
If you haven't questioned yourself or are curious as to why you do what you do, I highly suggest trying.
Curiosity truly is the entrance to self wisdom.
S