IMPERFECT Lady

Being Me

December 4th is a date that I most likely will always remember - the day that reality slammed into me and changed my world forever.

The day when a child spoke up that my father had sexually abused her.

I believed her.  

 

That moment in time - flipped my world right side up - and all that I knew - was no more.

 

Who I was that day - and who I am today - are light-years apart.

 

It was a day that broke my denial and made me aware of how upside down and backwards I was - a functioning dysfunctional.

 

So, the twenty year anniversary is more about me and my evolution than it is about anything else.

I lost a lot. There were things of my old life that no longer worked in my new awareness.

Things I had shoved down - came up.  

People I had no boundaries with - now have boundaries.

Unexpressed emotions from the past rushed in to be expressed.  I used my voice even if my legs were shaking. I grew up each time I spoke a truth others didn't want to hear.

 

Who I was and how I lived - made sense - coming from whence I came.

The piece of the puzzle - being abused by my father- was key to know - it explained a lot about me.  I am grateful for the piece - I was missing. It completed me.  My life made more sense with abuse in my past.  I understood me and my dysfunctional ways

 

The remnants of that old life are few and far between.

I am the person now - I needed when I was a child.

I like who I am and what I stand for.

I am without a family(of origin) and faith - and yet my life is full.

 

While I lost a lot - I gained more.

My whole life opened up that day and all the ugly was present - but so was the potential of so much good. 

 

I would not be eager to go and do it again; but I would to get to where I am today.

 

There is a lot of grief that lives in my heart - and for the most part it is soft and in the background.  I am okay with it riding with me.  It is a reality of my life.  

My heart though has expanded and grown - both with the deep sorrow and knowing the truth - and loving my wounded self and encouraging her to grow. 

 

What these past 20 years have taught me is that we are all on our own path and it isn't my responsibility to eradicate all the abuse - but to live a life that reflects my own morals and values.  Each of us are on the side of history that mirrors our character.

 

Twenty years later I know peace, love and joy.

Twenty years later I understand more deeply the price you pay to live your own truth.

Twenty years later I am a peace with who I am.

Twenty years later I am still a lover of realty and accept what is.

Twenty years later I am still learning and growing and becoming.

Twenty years later is a great start in being Me.

 

 

 

Our Friendship

A friend of mine passed away - I don't recall how many years we've known each other - over two decades or more. We bonded over our love of art, fabric, thread and talking about dysfunction and women's issues.  

She was older than me - a few decades or more.

Way more sophisticated and wise to the wonders of the world.  

Our pasts were so different - and maybe the times in which we were born, and our families.

Her view of the world was large and experienced. Mine was small and less so.

She carried lots of sorrow with her as she lived and loved.

 

We were a pair of opposites.

Learning from each other.

Working through our life lessons.

Sharing our unique experiences.

 

She was a cheerleader of my art and one that I respected for she was beyond talented with a needle and thread. Intricate detailed and precise - with wild abandon and an imagination that stretched out far. I guess I was her cheerleader too.

 

She lived her Dash...

 

I was only aware of her last few decades - much of her life had been lived by the time I met her.  In the later years we saw each other more - the more housebound she became.  We texted and shared the things we made and our lives.

She didn't like clutter or holding on to anything she no longer wanted or used. I became her hand-me-down girl.  When she gave me her last pile of treasures, I asked if her creative spirit was attached, she smiled and said "of course".  She was my fairy godmother of sewing supplies and her treasures are now sprinkled into mine.

She liked my texts, of nature and art and even my grandchildren. I was passing to her parts of life that seemed out of reach for her.

 

I asked her about if she slept lots now, and she said no - I am spending my time remembering.

 

I then sent her a text about all that I remember of her.  Her last text back to me was -

Thank you.

 

My phone lost a contact - a resource and voice I had come to love.

 

The world will be different without you.

They say if you want to be near someone you lost- to do what they love.

She and her spirit will continue to be with me when I create

 

May your spirit now fly - to horizons beyond your imagination.

Rest in peace was never for you - you wanted to be free and limitless - feeling alive and vital.  

 

I will carry you in my heart and feel the absence of where you used to be.

 

I am grateful for our friendship.

 

 

 

 

 

God's Free Will

Women's rights are a tricky subject - because what is actually being talked about IS not her by herself.  She is unable to find herself pregnant without a man. She can't make a baby on her own - the man carries a crucial piece AND this is not talked about.

 

His rights are never in question or limited.

 

A woman is left with the evidence that a man planted a child.

 

And she alone is judged and crucified for what she decides to do.

 

There is also a limited version of abortion - that is willfully used primarily as birth control - and that it isn't a heartbreaking decision that is for health reasons of a child or the mother.

 

Mostly there needs to be a wider version of the discussion and a more open view on what is going on.

 

Women are only one part of the equation - yet carry full blame.

Limiting women - on the other side of baby making - seems like shutting the door after the horses left the barn. Why not stop the baby making process at the gate.  Limit men from having kids until they can prove the kids are wanted and can be supported.

Limit the surgery decisions to the doctor and the carrier of the baby.

Leave the church and state out of it.

 

It seems unfair to reduce the limits of women and not look upon the man - at all.

What would be a fair discussion to have about a pregnancy - and its continuation - or even conception?

 

There are two people involved and only one is being addressed.

What is the saying - instead of pulling people out of the river - it is better to go up river and see how they are getting there.

 

What doesn't seem to be the right answer is to take away the woman's right to her own body - 

 

Also, what else has been bugging me, is that so many of the ultra religious women are voting to take away rights - when they themselves have little ownership of their own bodies.

 

They are not able to limit the amount of children they have.

They are not free with their own bodies and yet they feel they can limit others.

 

It seems that only those who are free to choose, should be voting.

 

What I have learned - in my experience - the freer I became, the wider my sense of accepting and allowing others to live their lives freely.

I  would not want others telling me what is right or wrong in my life - and I am not sure what is right or wrong in your life. 

 

What is right for me - doesn't necessarily mean it is right for you.

If God gave us free will - why are some feeling like it is theirs to control?

 

I am pretty sure it is a sign of dysfunction to control others. 

A society that has equal rights and freedoms is a healthy society - and/or religion or relationship of any kind.

 

There are three kinds of rights. "These are Natural rights, Moral rights & Legal rights. Legal rights can be defining in three categories. These are, Fundamental rights, Political rights & Social or civil rights.

 

What seems to be happening is the 'moral' rights of some are creating negative legal rights, that infringe upon the natural rights of women.

 

Those who can justify this - better know - that you too are at risk of having your natural rights taken away - with the right people in power.  

 

In the land of the free - it is not a positive to reduce someone's freedom.

 

Morals are what you believe to be right or wrong -

And these are personal and I don't feel should be imposed upon others.

 

Values - a person's principles or standards of behavior; one's judgment of what is important in life. "they internalize their parents' rules and values"

 

Free Will - Free will is the ability to make choices independently and without outside influence. It's linked to concepts like moral responsibility, praise, and culpability, which only apply to actions that are freely chosen. 

 

 

I guess in the land of the free - I would like to honor God's free will.

 

And He gave us free will—the ability to think, reason and make our own choice.

 

It would seem those who are supportive of religion and God, would want at the very least to give each of us God's Free Will.

 

 

 

 

Peace on Earth

We Vote today - a choice we will have to make - we vote each time there is a decision in our lives, our choices reflect our values and our morals.

Our vote typically aligns with our energy.

The candidate and their vision of the future - matches our own.

 

I am not certain any political ad or speech will sway us one way or the other.

Who we are - is how we vote.

 

We vote for what feels familiar or probably what is the popular vote among our family and friends.

 

We don't typically want to stand out and be different.

 

Trying to sway someone to vote differently - is to try and change their inner code - which seems almost unshakable.  However, if your own life has been upended, your inner sense of the world will change and you will renegotiate your values and morals.

And with new morals and values, your vote will change.

 

While voting on the president is a big deal, all of our decisions are big deals.  Each choice we make or don't make, will affect our individual relationships - with ourselves and those around us.

 

What we stand for or sit down with- matters.  

The accumulation of our votes leans forward thinking or standing still or trying to move backwards. The universe though I believe is forward evolution - albeit slow at times.

 

And it seems that some are okay taking away rights and others are not.  

If you are born and raised in a community that has limited your rights, it feels right.

Some have been limited their whole lives - living in a body that they didn't have the right over.

 

Hear that.  

They do not own their own body.

 

I know this - I lived for 46 years with a body that wasn't mine.

I wasn't able to do with it - as I wanted; but what the church felt was right or wrong.

I was nowhere to be found.

 

I understand when so many women step into the voting booth - how they will not be free.

Perhaps because I know the difference - I have a choice.  Others do not.

 

I didn't even know know - that I was not free. I only knew how to be a good person within the church and follow the rules.  I didn't look deeply at the rules or what they meant or how I felt or what their impact had on me - let alone how these rules excluded others.

 

It was just a sin to have total freedom with my body.

One of the bigger choices that is being voted on is women's rights.

And it is complicated.

Not a simple or easy conclusion.

But, oddly it would be IF it was about the Man.

 

Being a country of freedoms - some are limited by their religious rules. It will be foreign to vote for freedom of self. 

 

At the end of the day - when the votes are tallied, we will have a better understanding on how the majority feel and whose rights are being supported.  

Will humanity continue to grow and expand and become more aware and balanced or will we spiral backwards to limitations.  

While voting for the president is a big decisions, there are many real decisions in our own lives that matter in how we add to the wellness of humanity.  

We vote according to our limits - not the broad space of potentials.

 

How we respond to the election when it is all said and done and how we live with the candidate that is not our choice - will also be a choice.  

Our challenge in life is to live and be the best you can be within the systems that govern our country and community. The best way to govern is to lead with freedom.

 

In a perfect world, there would be peace on earth.

 

 

 

 

Moment of Time

How would you live life if there wasn't the application of forgiveness?

If all your actions were accountable and traveled with you?

Are there choices you would no longer make?

 

My views on forgiveness have changed completely.  I used to believe it was kind of me to wipe away sins from others- to forgive and move on as if that sin didn't happen.  This was kindness to me.

 

When applying forgiveness - it never occurred to me that - it was a mind game.

It was a thought process - and usually left me feeling resentful.

 

I was taught to forgive.

That it was MY way to heaven.

And it wasn't my business to care or judge the sins of others.  My 'job' was to act and feel that the 'sin' had been removed.

 

Forgiveness was the magic eraser - and we all then had to believe IT was gone.

It was a mind shuffle at best.

 

My mind was conditioned to do this magical exercise - and it didn't allow for my feelings or emotions or even the reality of what happened.  I was made to live in pretend land.

 

This land of pretend - often overlooks the hurt that is done - for I guess we don't forgive what is right. Only the wrong things.

 

When you are made to live denying hurtful behavior - you are only seeing one side of a person - the dark side isn't to be mentioned.  We live with the potential - but not the real.

 

This may seem like madness to those not raised on the forgiveness of sins.  It was the way of heaven.  In order to arrive in heaven one day - you must forgive and be forgiven.

Forgiven of sins.

 

Each church and religion have their own set of what a sin is.  

 

This tool often means you don't really really really have to change, you can repeat the behavior that is wrong - because there is this application to wipe clean what you did.

 

It boggles my mind now - that I lived believing in this. 

 

When you no longer have this tool - your choices matter more.

Again, what if your sins truly don't go anywhere, but those choices live upon your heart?

 

It was an interesting and horrifying visual to see the sins of my father being repeated for decades.  The sins (choices) were repeated upon new victims.   Forgiveness didn't change my father - rather it allowed him to sin again.

 

In my old religion (First Apostolic Lutheran Church) the focus only glanced briefly at the sinner - but we were made to feel worse than the criminal IF we didn't forgive.

 

The onus was on the victim to keep the reputation and character of the sinner in good standings.

It is a co-dependent relationship at best - but one where it is impossible to leave the victim position. And the sinner never appears to have to wear their sins.  They are often hidden by forgiveness.

 

Is it truly unkind to make others wear their choices?  

Living without forgiveness for almost 20 years has made me much more accountable to myself. I know the steps I take will be recorder upon my spirit.  

 

Perfection is not what I am aiming for - nor do I feel that it is up to others to maintain my character.  

 

No one comes in with all the answers or the right choices to make in life.  Each time life presents us with a choice, we will live with the consequences of that choice. It lives with us.

 

We are composed of our life's choices.

 

The poor choices I made while under the influence of a brain washed mind - live inside of me. The years of denial and blindness accumulated a burden of consequences that overwhelmed me when I understood that all I forgave - was for naught.

 

Forgiveness now feels like a swear word to me.

And kindness a cloak of blindness.

 

There is a meaning of forgiveness that resonates with me - "Forgiveness is giving up the hope that the past could have been any different, but we cannot move forward if we're still holding onto the pain of that past and wishing it was something else."

 

In giving up hope that the past could have been any different - it set me free.

I was made to sit with what is.

It is interesting how the pain did eventually subside once I sat with the lost hope.

 

Who knew that giving up hope for things to be different could be so life changing.

Without the hope of things being different - I could sit in what was - and I could feel the angst of the reality of the sins that lay at my feet - mine, theirs and how these choices create a pretend reality.

 

It seems insane that a life without forgiveness is so kind.

 

And, I am not even sure I use Hope anymore.  Not the hope that is like a prayer for things to change.

 

I just live with what is - and I am okay with the sins I carry - for I when I knew better - I did better. 

 

My heart's content holds all my life's choices - I carry the weight of my heart.

Without the hope that my past could be any different - I feel peace today.

And my future lives in the reality of this moment of time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consequences of the Choice

“Cycles exist because they are excruciating to break. It takes an astronomical amount of pain and courage to disrupt a familiar pattern. Sometimes it seems easier to just keep running in the same familiar circles - than facing the possibility of jumping -and not landing on your feet.”  It Ends With Us.  Colleen Hoover

 

"It Ends With Us" is a work of fiction based loosely on her mother's experience.  

 

When you are born into a cycle that holds abuse - and you don't change the pattern, you are bringing your children into that same cycle.  My childhood love allowed bad behaviors.

There is a point where you are given a hard choice - to do something different or just go along not making waves.

The cycle you are born into wasn't of your own making - however - when you recognize the pattern is about to be repeated with you - you decide to carry on - or to stop.

 

Stopping is not in the family's legacy in most abusive cycles.  It will require great courage to abruptly stop.

I don't think most understand what it takes to end the cycles and legacy of abuse. 

It isn't words spoken or truth exposed. 

Creating a new cycle is more about self responsibility.  To see the cycle you are part of - and your hand in it - and then determining how it will go from you.

Will your children see you repeat your mother's pattern.

 

My mother's role in the cycle of abuse, was to forgive it away - and then carry on as if the abuse WAS gone. She blindly and repeatedly forgave, again and again and again for decades.  Even IF she wasn't the one abusing, She was the one allowing it to go on - by simply not breaking the cycle of forgiveness.

 

I know forgiveness sounds kind.

Compassionate even perhaps.

 

But forgiveness without action of distancing your self and your children from an abuser, is not kind. It is to be an accomplice.

 

There was a moment in my life, where the cycle became crystal clear to me - I saw myself in the cross hairs of the truth and where my mother's reactions and mine had diverged.  

 

Something inside of me merged with the truth and I was unable or even unwilling to let it go. In that moment a new cycle began. I didn't wipe the truth away with forgiveness.

 

Her cycle overlooked the child and their wounds.

My new cycle was to see the wound and who did it - and set up boundaries.

 

It comes with a cost.

 

And a reward.

 

The cost is to be in a cycle that is different from my family of origin. Who have continued on - forgiving - showing other abusers that they have nothing to fear.  Our family cycle was to turn a blind eye to the abuse and focus instead on family.  Loving them - no matter what.  No boundaries are set against bad behaviors, criminal or otherwise.  

 

Forgiveness was how my family cleaned up its messes.

 

The cost of forgiveness is for the child to bear.  The abused child carries the weight of pain and grief.  Wrestles with holding on to love - where love is hurting.

 

A new cycle begins when you decide no more.

When you remove yourself from the flow of familiar.

 

The excruciating process is when you step out - you are stepping out of family.

Most will not clap for you and cheer you on.

It seems insane, that you will have to traverse alone out of the cycles of abuse.

 

You are going against familiar and truly not knowing if the new way will land you on your feet.  Or are you going from the frying pan to the fire.

You can't know, until you are far far into your new cycle, if you achieved your goal.

 

In reading her book, it made it clear the emotional and heart wrenching task it is to break the cycles. Which is why very few do.  It is a lonely road.  

 

Labor Day weekend has become a reunion of sorts for my family of origin. Rumor has it this year it came with the spreading of my mother's ashes.  

An ending of an era - it would seem.

 

She has left her pattern downloaded in many.

Her cycles continue on.

 

If I look at my life from the vantage point of her family - mine is desolate.

However when I see me in my new cycle - it is bountiful.

 

My children now have choices of my old cycle or my new.

It isn't up to me to choose.

 

My part was jumping - and figuring it out as I go.

Using my body, heart and soul to decide what is an environment where children will be safe. 

I have boundaries.

and love that doesn't come with pain.

 

I understand the cycle of forgiveness - for you get to keep family.

I understand the cycle of boundaries - you lose family.

But the cost of forgiveness within families where abuse happens - continues to create new victims. Sadly, in our case small children.

 

My life's work is to continue on creating a new pattern - knowing it will impact the generations after me. 

 

Each of my children also will find themselves at a cross road and will get to decide which road they take.  What their own legacy will be.  

We are all free to choose, but as they say we are not free from the consequences of the choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Hollow Place.

Cognitive Dissonance - "Cognitive dissonance occurs when a person's behavior and beliefs do not complement each other or when they hold two contradictory beliefs. It causes a feeling of discomfort that can motivate people to try to feel better. People may do this via defense mechanisms, such as avoidance."

 

 

A friend used this term in a conversation we were having - and I had to go and look up the definition.  

"Examples of cognition include paying attention to something in the environment, learning something new, making decisions, processing language, sensing and perceiving environmental stimuli, solving problems, and using memory."

Dissonance means  - "lack of agreement. the dissonance between the truth and what people want to believe. especially : inconsistency between the beliefs one holds or between one's actions and one's beliefs compare cognitive dissonance."

 

This phrase struck a cord with me and seems to nicely encompass the land where I was raised.  

 

I was born into cognitive dissonance - where beliefs/faiths and behaviors were at odds.

Living in sea of contradictions leaves you without a solid foundation.

You build a self based on nothing.

 

The foundation of who we are lives in the connection of what we believe and how we act.  

 

What this means is integrity where our actions match who we are.

I looked up integrity to make sure.

"The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness."

 

I was raised in a church that supposedly had high moral principles and moral uprightness - same within my family.   

 

I believe - they both believed it.  

I however have come to know, they couldn't act in harmony of what they believed.

 

It is easy to believe in something.

It is much harder to walk it out.

To stand against abuse often means standing against family.  It means to hold them accountable for behaviors.  There is no 'forgiveness' that will undo certain behaviors.  

 

Being raised in the religion where 'sins' could be washed away - leaves you living in a false land.  It forces you to not see what is right before your eyes and live more in your head - in make-belief world - separated from facts.

 

I know this sounds like insanity and perhaps it is.

To be born into cognitive dissonance, left me crippled cognitively.

It was normal for things not to match.

 

I didn't doubt them or correct them.

 

This also worked for me - I could have a lazy relationship with myself and others.

I didn't hold myself accountable - or others

I didn't speak a truth or feeling or stand up.

My lack of integrity was normal coming from whence I came.

 

After leaving my family and religion, I was drawn to nature.

Nature was.

 

A tree was a tree.

A duck looked like a duck, walked like a duck and quacked.

Anytime now when things don't add up - I am pushed back from them.

 

I no longer am okay with cognitive dissonance in others.

For often the reason they don't add up is that they are unwilling to dance with the truth.

They want their cake and eat it too.

 

I understand how my family of origin wanted a family - a father and mother - and not to instead act like it was a pedophile and his accomplice.

(An accomplice is defined as a person who knowingly, voluntarily, or intentionally gives assistance to another in (or in some cases fails to prevent another from) the commission of a crime. An accomplice is criminally liable to the same extent as the principal.)

 

I feel like I am now allergic to those who live in cognitive dissonance - for there doesn't seem to be a foundation of moral strength - where they can have correct action in the face of truths that are hard to be with.

 

It is easy to be in a family where there are no hard truths to reconcile or a religion that doesn't knowingly not report abuse.   You truly can't know the foundation of someone until you are faced with ugly truths.  

 

This phrase, cognitive dissonance is the content of my upbringing - and it has colored the actions of my siblings.  It is also the reason I am not interested in having a relationship with them.  For there doesn't appear to be something to hold on to.

 

At face value, it appears to be kind to forgive and move on - but sadly you are moving on without the truth.  

After living in denial and in the land of cognitive dissonance - I am unwilling to go back there.  

Inside of me knows, back there is a hollow place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rattles Your Beliefs

"Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable." -Cesar Cruz

 

This reimagining of DaVinci's Last Supper, has hit some buttons - as great art should.

Art truly should disturb the comfortable and to comfort the disturbed.  It is there to speak in ways lots would love there to be silence.  

 

What this art form has shown most, is how narrow and judgmental some christian's beliefs are and how they are only comfortable with those 'like them'.

 

I experienced life in the narrow trenches of religion and how my own self judgment often then colored others.  I had zero tolerance, understanding or empathy for those unlike me.

When art can draw an affront - to me - it has truth woven through it.

 

If your said religion feels attacked by those - not like you - it may mean your religion isn't wide enough or open or accepting or loving or inclusive.  It may mean that there are boundaries or fences to keep "different" out.

 

Somehow what is lost is how there are billions of expressions of humanity and each are living life from their inside out.

I am always astounded when someone outside can disturb your inner faith - just by being themselves.

 

Humanity won't be healed by the exclusion of others or the fear of what seems different.

 

Great Art forms will disturb the comfortable and will show the world just who they are, and how they see this world and the human journey.

 

It is my belief, if you have a strong inner personal understanding of who you are, others on the outside can't smear it.  

 

We need more disturbing art - to create cracks in the old ways of narrow beliefs.

Faiths that can withstand art and all its expressions - is one of freedom and inclusiveness.

The Art Forms at the Olympics created a disturbance and it reached the goal it intended.

How each person views it, will also display who you are and what you believe.

While many feel art is visual - it actually speaks to your soul and rattles your beliefs.

 

A full heart.

On Father's Day it is a time for honoring those men who are great dads and for some of us this day literally catapults us back into bad memories.  

 

These holidays will automatically bring up the person in your life you called Dad.

I started calling my father by his given name, for he lost the right to the word Dad.

 

It doesn't matter that I am 65 - I watch other older folks still remembering their fathers with love, joy and wistfulness -and the little girl inside me feels its absence.

 

I think a part of me will always be sadden by the empty spot in my heart where a dad lived.

 

My memories are now so distorted and broken - false pretend dad moments.

 

When I think of his legacy and how a brother suggested to me that "Estrangement is a choice and not a life sentence", it sorta seems like I could trade him in for a new dad in my mind.

 

That you could preform some inner mental magic trick and a dad would appear where a pedophile used to be.

Blaming me for making a poor choice - and not re-writing history.

 

Inside of me the truth is resolute.

 

I know love now.

I know what a wonderful father is - and it wasn't me who created it or made that choice.

 

My husband is a loving dad.  

My children have something to celebrate on Father's Day.

When you put your children first, when you make choices based on what is best for the family, you are showing them what love does.

A father's choices are no longer his alone.  They will have a ripple effect that is felt for generations. He leaves an imprint upon their hearts. And the lucky ones feel love.

 

Intellectually I can see how my legacy could be no different.

I get it.  Patterns and cycles were repeated.  

 

Emotionally the little girl in me wishes...

 

The woman I am today - is forever grateful that the patterns changed with me.

My children will hold love in their hearts for their dad. 

When I see a man being a loving dad, a man who loves his children's mother, a man who enjoys being with his kids and helping in their raising, I get emotional - I know the child will feel his love.

 

It is hard to articulate the vast difference between what a loving dad does and what one who is not.  Those whose demons made their choices - left children in their wake whose lives were much more difficult to navigate.  

We inherit a legacy we need to course correct.

 

So many babies are now being born in nature and the mothers/fathers are quite engaged in protecting the child.  Humanity is often not that lucky. 

 

My heart aches for those who carry an empty hole where a dad should be and I am grateful for those who have a full heart.

 

Freedom Waited for Me to Act

With the freedom of speech 

comes the responsibility to 

listen

With the freedom of belief

comes the responsibility to 

accept

With the freedom from want

comes the responsibility to 

serve

And with the freedom from fear

comes the responsibility to 

act.    

 

(Summary of FDR's Four Freedoms by Darren Walker)

 

I saw this on a friend's instagram -

 

I love how each of our freedoms come with a responsibility on our part.

 

It took me a long time to understand what listening was about - in how we can learn to understand another's journey.  Maybe it was when I learned more about my own journey, I could see the wide range of possibilities of others.

 

And, I love how belief comes with acceptance.  In order to truly believe you have to accept the facts of what is.  Beliefs that are not grounded in reality or in facts, are beliefs of falsehoods. I became a believer in acceptance - more than my old religion was trying to teach. 

In fact, it wasn't often about acceptance, but more about forgiving what is.

The sins - were washed away - to change reality.

 

Serving often relieves us of what we want.  And what we want isn't often what we need.

 

The responsibility to act - truly takes away our fear. For most often is we don't want to act differently than we have in the past, for then we will change how others see us or engage with us.

 

I just love that our freedoms are hinged upon a responsibility on our end.

Freedom isn't free from the consequences of our choices.

Freedom isn't a given - or a lazy relationship.  

Our freedom depends upon our engagement with life and those we spend time with.

 

In thinking yesterday - Memorial Day - what came to me was to not squander the freedoms we have access to. To use your freedom in the small choices - and how each little choice can change your world.

 

I am so ever grateful for my ability to act freely in all aspects of my life.

These freedoms came with my intentions of authenticity and to live a life that reflects my truths.  It took courage to step out of the patterns I was raised in - and each time I was brave and made a new decision, another part of me was free.

Freedom waited for me to act.