There seems to be this fallacy of completion, of finishing, of getting to a spot when all is done, when I am perfect, when I am now me, when change is over.
Some how we have it that when we get to that spot we will control life and we will have smooth sailing.
How about instead if we get to the spot that we instead see that life happens, and we just happen along for the ride.
The thing that seems to stand in the way of accepting is our thoughts. Our thoughts and beliefs that things should be different, that we should even respond differently, that we should have control over more things.
Will we ever get to a spot in life where no thoughts will pop up, where no outside event will happen that we don’t want, that life will always be this perfect dance for us.
To be accepting of all things, the good the bad and the ugly, to accept them as part of your world, for do you really have a choice? Is there a way we can hit a button and all those things we don’t like disappear?
It seems we have been told or taught to believe that we have more control than what we do.
Abuse is actions that are out of control and it leaves us feeling out of control inside, especially if at the time an adult isn’t available to help us express our fears, our terror, our helplessness. The term adult child is that we are left emotionally at the age of our abuse no matter how big our body grows.
We then go forward with an inside that is out of control and we respond to the outside way out of control. Our reactions are swift and volatile, at a much higher volume than needed. A hair trigger on our tempers, with a bucket load of emotions behind, we respond with pent up unexpressed emotions.
To gain control of our emotions, to express ourselves is the task an abused person has to deal with one situation at a time. Little by little we regain control of ourselves in reality. We are able to see what happened, to express our emotions, to leak a little out here and there, to unleash their hold on us. We learn how to respond, not react.
Maybe this is what life is. That life happens and we then get to see how we respond? See what we do with each new moment, situation or person in our presence? What happens inside of us, what decides what we do? Is that the real spot we are seeking to stand on, the perfection we are striving towards to always stand on the same spot?
To always see the truth of what is, to really see the person who is standing in front of us, to hear their words, their actions. To see life as life presents itself and then learn to act accordingly, to be ok with going this way and that way, to be directed by life, instead of us trying to direct life.
There seems to be the dance of the Universe and it is up to us to hear the music and dance along. Perhaps the spot we are looking for is within us. To accept the music we are hearing, always.
Dance with the Universe in grace not trying to lead, but to be the one to follow.
Held in the arms of the Universe.
In grace accept this dance.
