Mind Story verses Reality.
What is a mind story and what is its main purpose? Who gets to create this and why? Can you manipulate mind stories? What happens to reality or to you in reality with a mind story?
An Abused mind has a story and I call it a Mind Story. A story about what is happening instead of what is happening.
It can literally eclipse reality and contradict feelings your body carries.
I believe the Mind Story begins for one reason and continues for another. I also believe that parents or adults begin this process.
We tell stories sometimes instead of the truth to protect someone, their feelings and their shortcomings, and begin a process that gets way out of hand. We tell a story to keep our story going!
In the case of Abuse, this gets so twisted that reality gets pushed so far back we can't see the forest for the trees!
My mother had a Mind Story, my father had a Mind Story, and in the end I had combination of both, and neither story was in reality, so of course there was no way that I could be.
As a child if you are not shown reality you will not see it. That seems profound, but true. Reality it seems is an option, but the Mind Stories are not.
Children play follow-the-leader, period.
Children will do as you do, and can be taught to believe as you believe. Sometimes it takes threats or conditions, fear, but you can bend and twist a child's mind, or help them build a Mind Story.
It seems to benefit the adult.
In my world, I followed leaders, I was a good girl, I listened and obeyed, I worked hard to keep their worlds working, I never knew that I was working to keep a deep dark secret.
I believed their words and allowed reality to slip from my grasp. I wanted to believe their words for all my love depended upon it. To not believe their words would be to lose it all.
Whether my body carried emotions that seemed to juxtaposition with reality, it never mattered. Their word was God.
Word was God, not reality. Reality was the Devil incarnated.
That line "do as I say and not as I do....." Sure has a new meaning for me today.
When you are young, and depending upon them to feed and clothe you, you need to believe what they say, or become homeless, parentless, an orphan.
Maya Angelou said, "Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives." And another, "....surrender, in its place, was as honorable as resistance especially if one had no choice." Both are profound when you put them up against a child living in an abusive home.
I had a Mind Story for 46 years. A story about me, my childhood, my parent's reality, yet on the day I found out that I had a Monster for a Father and an Ostrich for a mother, I felt normal for the first time ever.
It all made sense, my Mind Story and reality clashed, and I made sense. No wonder my mind never seemed in sync with reality, IT wasn't. So upside down and mental was my normal. I was normal, just not normal like others. I was a normal dysfunctional person!
Now I could sort this out. I had a Mind Story that I had to unravel and I had a reality to compare it to. No words this time. None!
Words seemed to delete reality on a whim. Words tried to change a monster into a dad, a husband for her, but words did not work for me. Words could not erase abuse in my body or my mind!
Words. Words abuse after the abuse! Words that pretend it never happened, words that you are all right! Words. Words. What a screen that abuse hides behind, false truths, fakeness, pretend status, words, the power of words!
Words and silence both are deadly to the Abused and freedom to the abuser!
No wonder I want to speak out, to use my words to clash with their reality, to use my words to shout to the Heavens what is really going on.
Mind Stories, they hide the Devil inside of us. The mind so fickle and controlling, so weak and yet so powerful, it rules and tears down, the greatest tool that can render you useless as well as reality.
I have the greatest reverence for the Mind. I have experienced its reign within me its control over me, the brain washing, the blind following, lost behind the words of a mental mind!
Reality a hard won place to be. Reality holds the key to peace, love and joy. Reality holds the answer to the Mind Story.
Reality verses the Mind Story an epic battle of all time. Who wins, who loses, only 100% of the time.
Pick a side. Only one. I tried two and got mixed up. Tangled in the web. "Oh the tangled webs we weave...." I didn't know they were talking about Mind Stories! Lies is that what makes up a Mind Story?
I was built on lies. A foundation without substance, a hollow form, a willow that can bend in either direction, swaying this way and that way!
A reed, flexible, pliable....the perfect tool to be used.
I will allow myself to be used again. This time I will allow the Universe to use me. Use this life, this body and my life experience.
We can be used in Darkness or used to spread the Light. I want my Light to shine forth, to dispel the darkness that others may be caught up in. I want to use my words, my walk into reality to be for the good of many. Use me! Shine your Light through me so that others can see!
Without your Light, I am just a reed, hollow, empty, useless. I will be a channel for your Light to pass.
Use me!
