In the past few days I have had the opportunity to bump into many of my past girlfriends, some as far back as 40 years ago, and some as recent as only one year.
To be part of the sisterhood of ladies from my way distant past, to old church members, to schoolmates, to ladies who share the same spiritual ideals, to those playing in Art with me, connects me.
All these ladies come with a story, with a walk in life, a journey filled with choices and ideals, dreams broken and shattered, to ones not yet dreamt.
I recall the youth of many, the lightness of heart and spirit and to see today the cost it has taken to stroll along in their worlds.
Life is hard on some or some are hard on Life, not sure which way that goes.
It seemed that so much of my past was in my present and in my present I was seeing how I changed.
My journey has led me down some darkened corridors, with pit falls of huge proportions, into bends of sheer madness, over hills of anxious moments that take your breath away, and then into places of pure delight, giggles and play, inspiration and wisdom of knowing.
I am so blessed that I was kept moving along, it would have been hell to get stuck along the way, in say misery and anger, rage and resentment, denial and hiding, to have sat down in the midst of any stage of grief would have stopped me living.
So many of the ladies I have known, the past and the present carry the torch of courage, of walking forward no matter what, to being strong, stronger than even they know, not letting life’s bumps define who they are. Not allowing another’s bad behavior be the cloak they wear.
I am in the sisterhood of women who are walking strong and carrying with them their inner resolve to be themselves in the midst of troubles and turmoil, to see the other as the other, and not themselves.
How awesome for me to be surrounded with ladies who can triumph over life’s rolling waves of disappointment, the crusher of dreams, and destroyer of little girl ideals! And to have the stamina to dream yet again!
The character of ladies that I know, have the fortitude to keep seeking to learn, in daring to try new things, and the guts it takes to just be in their lives, amazes me.
What has happened to me is that the more I share my story, the more they share theirs, and in doing so neither of us are alone.
It is the nature of the sisterhood to be connected just for being born female. We connect in our pain and our celebrations or the moments that we are victorious over life’s challenges, to the times we learn huge lessons about ourselves.
The shoes I walked in are many, from poverty abuse and neglect, locked in a religious cult, to the unraveling of much of my life, to now being in a state of rebirth, growth and learning, to simply being a woman, all have added to the nature of me.
I am who I am, not because of my choices, but because of life’s choices for me. It seems I am being carved out and whittled down and smoothed out, and formed into this lady, an artful display called me.
Each of us seems to get a pair of shoes, a road to walk, the inner fortitude to traverse the terrain ahead, we each are on our own separate journeys called life, and are blessed with those who dare to walk with us!
All of my past brought me here today, to be this person, to be me, to know what I know, do what I do, and live like I live. It is truly amazing to look at life’s journey, midway up the hill!
What lies ahead or behind is not what matters, but what lies within. I have found peace with me all of me along with acceptance and the knowing nothing will come my way that isn’t in the designing of who I need to be.
I give thanks for the sisters of my past, the fallen and the triumphant. I am grateful for the ones who I have recently found, to the ones I am yet to meet! They all shared a part of my walk with me.
It is in the greatest of grief that I see my own sisters, my little friends who suffered like I, it is with understanding I see those left behind, compassion fills me as I pass sisters along life’s way.
Walk on knowing that the shoes you wear to day or the road you walk will change, for nothing stays the same and it is all part of being you.
Now I know for sure we are not our shoes!
We are the ones who walks with an attitude while wearing them!
What’s your attitude?
