I vote no roles!

What happens when you no longer fit your roles, when you can’t step into the role and do it?  When the costume and lines no longer fit, you can’t even pretend to pretend it is working, not even one little bit.

 

Roles seem to shadow our actions or maybe make us act in ways we wouldn’t typically act or accept behaviors due to another’s role.

 

I am beginning to really hate roles and how they seem to have more clout than what is really going on.

 

The role of mother never worked for me as a kid.

My mother did not wear the same costume as other mothers, there seemed to be a crack in the façade, like she couldn’t really pull it off. 

 

I too have the same affliction, that beneath the role is me, and most times me and the role are not in agreement.

 

Mothering doesn’t work on big kids.

 

My mothering doesn’t spew forth love and kindness, it instead states that which most will not say.  My mothering will not lie especially just to make you feel better.  Instead I walk fearlessly into your life and tell you things you know, but don’t want hear, much less do. 

 

It seems that roles are living out our lives, that the roles take precedence over the person beneath the role.

 

I am not tired of being me, but tired of trying to mother kids too big to mother.

 

The Role of mother needs to be shut down after a certain age.

 

Behind the role of mother and daughter lie two women.  That is what I want to address.

 

Let the roles die, let the actions that are attached to the roles die, and let us deal with each other woman to woman.

 

Woman to woman, maybe now we are close to being on an even keel.

 

Even keel, fair or in balance, where one is not tipping over the scales and making the other resentful.

 

Unbalanced relationships were where I was raised and I was forever dragging along someone who for what ever reason didn’t carry their own weight.

 

I no longer have an interest to accept less, to concede and allow imbalance to be ok.

 

The roles and titles seem to carry excuse cards or set up bars of a prison to which there is no escape.

 

Families are with us forever, until death do we part, no matter what actions are tossed at us from the role of sister, or daughter, or whatever.

 

I am so tired of dealing with roles instead of the people hiding behind them.

 

Step away from the role, lay down the title and let us see who you are?

 

Now who are you as we stand eye- to- eye, with our actions and past behaviors as our only measure between us?

 

How does each one of us measure up?

I will not cheat and say you are better than you are, and I want no favors from you.

 

Let us just stand in the land of what is.

What is it you are doing and what is it that I am doing.

Who are you and who am I?

 

Let us meet each other for the first time.

Again.

 

When we met the first time, you were but a moment old.

You were a child and I the mother, now you are a lady.

 

It is impossible to mother a lady! 

 

I know that when I lay down the cloak of mothering, we will both have to stand alone, naked but for ourselves.

 

I am no longer able to have the upper hand, just because I said so, and you no longer can hide behind the innocence of a child.

 

We will meet in this space called now, bringing only ourselves, no roles.

 

Free to stand as an individual, freed of actions and rules that no longer fit.

 

Disposed roles, what happens to them?  Where do they go?

Is there a place where old roles go?

Or a place where you can find new ones that fit better.

What will our new roles be to each other?

Can we be role less and just be two ladies?

 

I vote no roles!