“Every Man has his own destiny; the only imperative is to follow it, to accept it, no matter where it leads him.”
Henry Miller
Today is my last day running Mail, and I will be so happy when I drop the last piece of mail in the box.
I am not sure what this says about me, but working full time just isn’t me. I am thinking it is more the work I am doing not the amount of time I am doing it.
It has been a week of working really hard to remember where these people are in the Case as I sort and then to find the correct box and get familiar with roads and sights along the way.
It is working really hard to get in a routine.
I am wondering if being in a routine is comfortable for most people? I think back and I used to like living in a routine, and maybe still do to some extent.
It is just that this routine would become familiar, but the Me doing it would seem unfamiliar.
We get paid well for running this routine, but it almost seems like I am nowhere to be found, but my body and mind are very busy doing this job!
I am not required to arrive, just a body that can stand and withstand the rigors of being a mail person and a mind that can quickly fall into the routine of memorizing. Yet the Spirit of me, the essence of me isn’t really needed there.
It seems like a flat line job. There could be interesting things that you deliver, or maybe different people you would get to know along the way, and I suppose weather plays apart to adding its excitement, but all in all it is routine.
Maybe I wasn’t born for routine, maybe my inner soul needs more in life, needs to have things new and different, not the same ole same ole.
It somehow feels like I am on a long treadmill when I am made to travel the same exact route day in and day out.
There can be a comfort that can be found knowing what you will do day after day. Yet I guess even doing the mail there are some things that are not for sure.
We can see unusual sights and see unusual people and even have car issues along the way. Maybe it is more the type of work, it doesn’t sing to me.
Luckily I am not being asked today to take over a route, but that is in my future. I wonder what I will say? I know that for the most part people deliver mail for the money.
I guess when the time comes money will be the deciding factor for me as well.
Life really does become work when you are doing what you do for the money alone.
“Do what you love and the money will follow.” I wonder if that is true? It seems in this case the money comes first, that is the lure that gets you on the treadmill.
Another quote that I heard is “if you do what you love to do, you will never work another day in your life!” I agree.
Looking at the contents of the last few weeks, it is full of work, with little time and effort left for play. That has to be what many folks are doing.
I guess since I have had the luxury of being a stay at home mom, I fell into a space that allows me to have so much time to be me, this is an odd place to be in now.
It is like you lose yourself and become the work instead.
No wonder people identify themselves with the kind of job they do. It slowly becomes them.
What seems really weird to me, is I can almost feel myself disappearing or find myself getting lost the more I work.
Wow. To see your self slowly disappearing over time and routine, to become lost behind the busy routine of work, is very discerning since I feel I just found myself.
I come alive when I am immersed in quilting, when I am reading or writing about the Self and Reality, about living life as a soulful being on a human journey, and I feel my self retreating as I do the mail.
Interesting to know and watch.
“It is necessary to the happiness of man that he be mentally faithful to himself.” Thomas Paine
Who am I?
