Its Happy Thanksgiving Day, a day to be thankful, a day to be with family, at least that is the tradition. I will be with my husband and children and our dog, we will travel to meet my husband’s family two hours away.
What does being thankful mean to you? Are you thankful for what you have or thankful for what you don’t have?
I don’t think you can get ahead of the feelings of gratitude or thankfulness; it is a feeling, an overwhelming overflowing all encompassing knowing of heart, soul and mind.
Saying the proper words, being polite or mindlessly repeating the phrase, “thank you” doesn’t bring on gratitude.
I heard somewhere that gratitude is an attitude.
It also seems we are taught to only be grateful or thankful for the nice things, the good things that happen to us, but we are not shown how to look at the difficult things.
In my experience, discovering the lesson or gift in times of great difficulty, are the things I am most grateful for.
When you can look at stressful times as potential gift- bringing- times, you will become grateful all the time.
I am grateful for all the wonderful loving, joyful, peaceful times, I am also grateful that I can dip down into the very deep stressful situations and come out with a part of me that lay buried.
I am grateful that something within me is allowing me to experience the darkness and then the awakening into Light.
My journey seems to have two distinct shades and I have been able to witness and experience both sides. I love that what I thought were the worst of times, was actually the awakening of a whole new me.
So, as I sit here on Thanks Giving Day my plate is heaped with things I am grateful for.
There are certain folks who seem to stand out as I look back, ones I feel most grateful for.
I am most grateful for my husband, for his uncanny ability to allow me to be myself, always. He patiently allows me to become who I need to be, not who he needs me to be. His support of me emotionally, physically and spiritually has allowed me to grow up with him. He gives the same to his children, so he blesses us all in simply allowing us to be ourselves. Free to be me! He loved the old me and then was brave enough to let a new me come forth. He was strong enough to withstand my darkest hours. It is easy to be with someone in the good times, but in the dark times, it really requires a whole new set of skills. I am grateful he walked by me. I love that most; he loved me when I didn’t know who I was. I love you.
I am grateful for my brother who has listened to me endlessly. He challenged me by being truthful in his dysfunction as well as challenging me in mine. His courage and honesty are far beyond most. I am grateful he shares his life with me, we have taught each other how real relationships work, empty of all pretenses, a brother and a friend. He of all knows my past story and the walk it takes to walk free, I am grateful I had a partner on this journey well I had two, he and my husband each held a hand. I love you.
I am grateful for my children and how patient they have been. How they tried hard to love me when I was so hard on them. I am beyond grateful to be given the opportunity to develop new relationships with each of them. I am grateful for the love I feel towards them, the freedom I can allow as they learn about themselves. I love each and feel that they felt the worst of my dysfunction. We are on the road of healing and learning a new way to be with each other. I love you for being patient with me. I have always loved you, but didn’t know how to express it right. I am so grateful I can learn to do it right.
Words seem inadequate to describe all the mountains of gratitude I have.
I will be forever grateful for old friends and new. How they are willing to hear me and see me and will be with me anyway. As I learn what real friendship means and how each have a season a reason or a lifetime. I am grateful for friends who shared each part of my journey.
I am grateful for the honesty of my childhood family who can’t accept my changes, how they didn’t pretend to be someone they couldn’t be.
They showed me a thousand examples of dysfunction so clear, I knew which way I had to go.
I am grateful beyond words that I was one to see the truth in reality, in its harsh landscape I found me.
I am forever grateful for Nature and its brightness how simple it seemed, brilliantly being itself, it showed me how to be me!
There is no part of me that I am not grateful for, no part of my walk I could have not had, all of it, the darkness expressed brilliantly how bad life can be, and the Light, just how bright.
Imagine there are some who only see one side. I am wealthy beyond measure for I saw both.
I am grateful to have experienced the entire journey called life, the darkness, fear/terror, wretchedness, blindness, pain, suffering, to the Lightness of peace, love and joy.
The feelings of immense gratitude of not being locked in the darkness forever leave me very humble.
“There but for the Grace of God go I”
I am most grateful for Grace.
