Robert Bly also writes, Some old traditions say that no man is adult until he has become opened to the soul and spirit world, and they say that such an opening is done by a wound in the right place, at the right time, in the right company. A wound allows the spirit or soul to enter. James Hillman, referring to Hans Castorp in “The Magic Mountain,” and the spot of tuberculosis on Castrop’s lung says, “Through the little hole of his wound, the immense realm of the spirit enters.”
I know this to be true. It is when you feel so wounded, so forlorn, that you see life from a new angle.
It is was in my darkest moments that I would walk outside, for my grief was more than this house could hold, and I would be overwhelmed by the Spirit of the Universe.
Its immenseness overpowered the weight of the grief.
In the battle of dark and Light, Light won.
It wasn’t that the grief just magically disappeared, but I had a place to go to feel immense joy, to know my life and its purpose was much larger than I.
It was in the darkest of dark nights, when emotions and feelings overwhelmed me, the feelings of worthlessness, of not mattering, of being so utterly neglected and used, that I found the Spirit in me.
The mightiness of the Spirit and the weight of the wound left me breathless most of the time. From great heights of joy, love and peace, to the deepness of anxiety and shame/blame and pain, I rode the roller coaster ride of emotions.
To go from unfeeling to feeling so much, it overwhelmed my body, like a tsunami they flowed taking with it all the mind chatter and worry, and all I could do was be with this one moment in time.
Feel this. Each high wave brought tears either of joy or grief. Inside of my chest came alive. I can’t even describe that feeling there.
It still happens today, a word, a scene in nature, an apple tree bare of all leaves, with just gold apples on display, make me gulp and feel its display, its pureness of being and doing itself.
Reality takes my breath away and feeling feelings and emotions whether they are slight or immense, is my Spirit experiencing life itself!
