I have had a lot of changes in the past five and a half years, and all of them have been perception changes, changes that had nothing to do with the other person, in fact I have changed no one, nor do I want to.
While my life has changed dramatically, those who I now see differently didn’t change, I just changed the way I look at them.
I am not certain if this makes sense to anyone but me, but it so wonderful to know that our job isn’t about doing work on other people, bending and twisting them into something that will make our lives better and then us better.
We can make us better without any help from anyone; it is a one-person job. You do it alone.
Most of the work was done on looking at others in their reality, and then deciding upon if I wanted to participate in their lives.
Giving myself the option to go in or get out, freed me in ways that’s unimaginable.
My reality went from needing others to do this and to do that, to wanting them this way and then that way, I was forever sitting down waiting for them to change, to be better, grow kinder and for sure see me waiting. Always sitting helpless and hopeless and stuck on one level waiting, it was like they had the controls to my elevator!
They controlled me until I realized I had a choice.
Most will not take the choice when it is a parent or family member that has been at the controls of your elevator.
Somehow it seems less scary to ride along out of control, than it is to take control back from your parent.
We believe that the mother/father whose hands are on the controls, love and control us.
Now the words love and control going together seems way wrong.
What happened to the “if you love something, set it free…” quote.
The most loving thing I did for myself was to learn how to control my own self.
I was like a remote control toy finding out I could control myself.
Imagine living a life where others controlled you to living a life where you controlled your self?
The difference is so vast, and all that happened was I took over controlling this unit.
Love and control only me!
