Sitting on the ‘passenger’ side of the car but driving gives you a whole new driving experience and a great metaphor for seeing life from another angle.
What was natural and instinctual is now taking thought; old driving habits are now null and void.
My left hand is now the controller and my right rests on the armrest, it all seems awkward and clumsy, my brain is much more aware of the steps it takes to find a radio station, to shift, adjust the heat, etc where before it was done thoughtlessly.
The driving view from the passenger seat is much different as well; it feels like you are off center.
The left turns seem like you are taking them too wide and the right turns feel like I am turning on a dime, and backing up I look ‘naturally’ over my right shoulder to just encounter the door.
After all the years that I have driven from the middle of the seat, using my left foot on break and gas and my left hand to steer, this still seems way odd, odder than being half way there!
This shows me how instinctual we live and operate, and how we train ourselves to be that way!
It takes time to feel comfortable with change, until we move naturally instinctually and even without thought, until it becomes a new normal.
In my life, I am still acclimating myself to all the different things I now do and many that I no longer take part in, how each new change requires thought and I see the cause and affects inside of me.
Learning to drive myself inside out, thoughtfully and in awareness.
Before I drove my body recklessly to avoid feeling what I felt inside.
I swerved away from confrontation, avoided questions and thoughtful inquiries, dodged oncoming unhappiness, passed up opportunities, followed passively in religion, parked my own desires and passions, bumped along unknowing myself, a body clearly out of control with a reckless driver.
Isn’t there a traffic violation for reckless endangerment?
I was in danger living without me.
