While listening to Tyler Perry talk to Oprah about his abuse as a child, he speaks of how when his father beat him, he would escape to a park in his mind, but on one occasion, he recalls the beating was so severe that he was unable to reach the park, and on that day his little boy died.
The little boy was beat to death, yet he survived.
I also believe now, that my little girl died when my father raped me, that IT changed who I am.
And I somehow felt I could retrieve that little girl, the spirit of innocence and trust that I could bring her back into my world, resurrect her to live again.
How can I do that? How do you take out the abuse that resides in all my cells? How can I change who I am? How can I rewrite history?
Oprah asked Tyler what he wanted to say to his little boy, which made me wonder what I would say to my little girl.
My little girl died before she had a chance to live, to be free, to make decisions and choices that were hers alone to make.
I feel that I can honor her life by living my life with the courage to speak and walk my truth.
Her courage to endure is now my courage to stand strong, her enduring spirit lies within me.
The spirit of my little girl walks with me always….
Its hard to picture such a little girl being raped, her innocence lost, her trust and faith shattered, and how she had to continue on, without the wonderful free spirit, instead a shadow of her self emerged, a frightened, scared, on guard version came forth, the light was diminished from within.
The death is when the light goes out.
Molestation steals the light.
It has taken me a long while groping along in the darkness to find the switch, to turn my light back on.
