I am finally seeing how literally birds of a feather flock together, clinging to the same version of heaven and hell, love and fear, good and evil, that depending upon your level of awareness and type of energy you carry, your heaven will reflect that.
Somehow heaven on earth seemed to be a statement or a flight of fancy, perhaps a daydream or a wishful idea, but we all have our heaven on earth and we all flee from what we think hell on earth would be.
And sometimes a tragedy happens and you arrive at hell in an instant, your worst fears are realized.
Walking through hell changed the energies within me, little by little the negative energies were replaced with positive ones, until the balance tipped and I no longer was the same inside.
Oddly what I called hell was actually the place where I found my positive energies.
I found pieces of myself I didn’t know were missing, patches of self-esteem long forgotten, newfound love, bits of passion, parts of authenticity, chunks of courage, that slowly arrived as I trudged through hell.
Hell before was reality, and reality now became my new heaven.
I am not sure I can articulate this wonderful view that I now have of where I was and where I am, how walking through the ring of fire totally transmuted me inside.
I know my family came close to the fire, were singed and burned, some came in for a short while, but the heat was too strong, the truth seared their illusion, and they scurried back to safety, to their old life, to old habits and routines, catching a glimpse of hell and retreating.
When they fled, I went in deeper, and explored all the caves of hell, looking for the self I had lost there.
Imagine I found myself in hell!
In the darkest of moments, during the most excruciating sorrow out I popped.
The me who went into hell and the me who walked out bear little resemblance to each other, we are not the same lady inside.
It is then no wonder that I respond to my family different and they to me, that our hells don’t match nor do our heavens, for my hell became what I call magical and transforming and filled with grace.
While I wouldn’t wish my hell on anyone, it is the greatest thing that ever happened in my life, it has transformed me in ways just regular old life can’t do.
I can’t remember how the country song goes exactly, but something about when your going through hell, keep on going,get out before the devil even knows your there….
But what if the devil is the truth, and you keep going, not stopping for it and you slip out before the truth catches you…what have you escaped, Heaven or Hell?
It is so intriguing to me to see that perhaps our heavens and hells do match, but that you haven’t become aware…that you are dancing with angels who are really devils in disguise.
