Within me there is a frustrating dilemma, speaking out in a society that is uncomfortable about suicide or remaining silent.
Silent seems dishonorable or maybe rude to not hear such an inhumane scream of suffering…indifference even.
How is it possible to turn away from such a blatant act of desperation? Surely we want to learn from this.
Do we dare listen to the message?
What is the message?
How is it possible to be so out of alternatives, to be so backed into a corner where living is ruled out?
Where there isn’t a sliver of hope left.
What is there to learn?
What can she teach us?
What are the signs?
There are papers in two different states reporting this death. The out-of-State paper writes, “Evidence collected by the patrol indicates that she meant to step into the path of the truck.” And the local paper writes how wonderful she was, an honor student, caring and wise beyond her years, etc.
The pictures of don’t match.
What was she trying to tell us in her last breath?
What is the contrast of her life and death here to show us?
Due to the drastic nature of her death it seems her life had to equal it somehow, yet her life doesn’t seem to match.
What lies beneath?
I have heard that suicide is a selfish act, but perhaps this is way wrong. You wonder if she is using her death to say something, loud, clear and unmistakable.
Where it is impossible to call it an accident or natural cause, where it is putting her whole life out there for the world to see.
What is it that she wants us to see?
How can we learn from her life, to see her pathway and find the signs that were leading her to this end, so that we can put in alternative roads for others?
How can her death be used for another’s life?
While we pay close attention to mysterious deaths of the body and perform autopsies, we don’t look equally into suicides to see the path that leads there.
What put her on this road?
What I know is people who are loved, nurtured and who feel safe on this planet; they don’t kill themselves in order to leave.
While it may be controversy to speak of suicide, I am thinking by not speaking of it we are screaming louder that we don’t want to hear about your suffering.
If perhaps as a society we could talk openly and freely about pain and suffering, if it was okay to talk about not wanting to live, to be open and honest, perhaps we then could stop people who feel that those who suffer too much have to leave, that there is no room here for those who suffer.
How we as adults talk about her death, shows the youth how much we embrace reality and truth, how much we are willing to be with those who suffer.
It just seems to me, how wonderful it would be if she could spare another soul her journey. And if we can change our consciousness about suicide, her death will not be in vain.
She was here to teach us how to become more deeply aware of the signs of covering up suffering, for her social life and her death are not in harmony.
