Energy and Feeling Good

Slowly but surely my physical body has been pushed to the far reaches of my life, again.  Well, I notice it when it creaks and aches and feels ouchy, when my neck and jaw are tense and in pain, when my middle is so expanded that I feel bundled up in a winter coat...and there is a faint feeble calling of the yoga mat. I am not sure why I wait for physical discomfort, for loathing and self recriminations, but that seems to be the way. That when I am on a winning streak, like 340 plus days of yoga, I lose the 'desire' or whatever that is. It seems like all kinds of things came rushing in or crowding over My Time...that while  tended this or that, I forgot to leave time, space, energy, Or I forgot to say no more than yes and slowly 'other' things overwhelmed my space. I have spent tons of hours on my inner awareness and self control, self freedom, etc. But I keep a healthy distance from the body's needs. My mind and soul feel at peace in a very open liberal place....and yet my body still feels in prison at times.   Over-run by old habits.   Habits that seem not of mind or spirit, but just residual affects from my old life. In fact my outside (body) where my spirit and mind live needs to catch up with the inner work. Maybe it is time to put the same intensity and focus on flipping my body. My body is the odd man out.  It is not free. It is not at peace. My body can't do a thing without me setting the intentions, putting IT on the list, at the top and finding ways to serve it and give it the same sacred intensity that I gave my inner landscape. Time to clean up my outer body act...finding new alternate habits that will bring in energy instead of lowering it. I un-naturally turn  away from my body. Somehow I can do this when forced, but it isn't natural for me to be kind and desire good things and wanting to serve my body energy lifters...but I am more natural at neglect. It is like I am in control of neglect and out of control for goodness. And my body still tries its best to deliver all that I ask of it, but with hurdles and speed bumps.... with me fighting it each step of the way. I fight doing yoga and eating foods that deliver good energy and instead dump in sweets and foods that drain me.   Maybe it is time to switch the fight around. To fight for energy and feeling good.