"We cannot begin to work on ourselves, to live our own lives, feel our own feelings, and solve our own problems until we have DETACHED from the object of our obsession. From any experiences (and those of others), it appears that even our Higher Power can't do much with us until we have detached." Melody Beatte
When our choices 'affect' another's happiness there is a codependent relationship...or if we feel unable to do what we want, we are not detached, but connected.
And the work towards healing is learning how to detach; to make a choice that you know is against what the other wants, but it is for your own happiness, that you begin to work yourself free of this codependency.
I love that even the Universe is unable to do much with us while we are focused on the happiness and peace of others....while we are neglecting us, so is the Universe. It honors our free will....and we are using our free will to dance to make others happy...neglecting our own soul.
I use to be a great jailer of my children's lives, and wanted and needed them to act a certain way for my happiness and peace of mind.
When I detached from my children, my children did not have to run away to be free...they had a free life in my presence.
There was nothing they could or could not do that would change the climate inside of me. I was the only person responsible for my feelings...it now seems so hopelessly silly to imagine that old life, and totally debilitating for me, and harshly selfish and cold towards them.
Neither of us were in control, and both of us needed the other to act a certain way...how incredibly hard to live this way.
How freeing to just act for me....which leaves you at act for you.
I am grateful for being detached.
