"Not grasping what is meant by the term Truth, is the key to all of life."
My brother feels that this sentence is wrong, that it should instead read;
"Grasping what is meant by the term Truth, is the key to all of life.
And actually the key word is grasping or not grasping what is meant by the term truth. And I feel that the sentence still works for it is in understanding what NOT grasping will mean.
The key of truth lies in whether you grasp or let it pass...
We are given the opportunity hundreds a times a day to use this grasping or not grasping technique, even if you live alone, you are faced with this choice.
Our lives are directly affected by our ability to grasp on or the ability to not move, this is the KEY to all of life.
I think, we think, that life is very complex, hard and a huge mystery, when it can be boiled down to the very basic of all things, whether you can hold on and follow your own feelings...
GRASPING is to become nearsighted or innersighted, to honor nothing else but what you feel inside, to hone the skills to recognize all the little nuances of your body, to treat your inside like a precious child, to grasp on to the essence that is alive and moving inside and then live by it.
The aliveness, the feelings, the energy, the spirit, the hurt, the pain, the sorrow, IS You. This is what you are not grasping on to. These feelings are you.
The you is not found in your clothes, your home, your car, your pretty hair, your job, your family genes, YOU are in the energy of feelings...
The key to life is whether you grasp on or not grasp on; your life will take a totally different path depending upon what you do and say about your feelings.
The key to all of your life lies within that small but gigantic act.
My life totally flipped around by going with my guts, my inner feelings, my sorrow and my tears, my betrayal and horrific fear...it turned me on to me...and what is meant by the term truth.
For the first 46 years of my life, I shunned my feelings, turned my voice away from them, disregarded and discarded them for the sake of many things, I betrayed myself in order for there to be peace in my family home and to 'get along' with my mother.
In the end, none of that served anyone, not even me.
All my feelings of hurt, betrayal, mistrust, fear, anger, resentment of being abused did not go anywhere while I shunned them, they sat like a bomb waiting to explode, to come out...and they did.
Each time I would find myself 'out of control', they poured out...usually upon an innocent bystander, my child.
I couldn't grasp them, hold them back, they literally would spew forth in a torrent of words, feelings, etc...raining all my inner suffering upon my children.
This out of control raging screaming voice did nothing to heal or address the pain....what it was doing was showing me what lay inside, what my inside world looked like...and sadly, I ALWAYS blamed my children for my tirade.
If only they would do this or that. If only they would behave here or there, if only they would listen to this or that, etc.
Righteously I stood, the towering inferno out of control, blaming the child...never knowing the truth that was me.
The truth that was me, that I had not grasped on to, was a very wounded, hurt, child.
I then grew up to be an out of control adult with a neglected hurt child inside.
The first glimpse I had of this child, was when my niece spoke up and I took on this visceral knowing of who she was, how she felt and what she needed....before 24 hours was up, I was sobbing uncontrollably knowing I was her. I was her completely. I was her, I too was an abused child by my father. I also knew, it was much worse for me, so bad that I had no memory...all I had was the fear that would bubble into slight terror at being alone with my father.
It seemed this was my final exam, the day of reckoning, could I see me in her and her in me? Will I once again, pass by and not grasp on to my feelings, when my feelings echo those of a child who is so small and so innocent, who is now brave enough to speak her feelings, to say what happened?
When my sister said, "She said Grandpa touched her..." all it took was a half a heart beat and I said, "She is telling the truth."
And right after that my body began shaking, shivering and trembling out of control....It knew that I knew. I was grasping on.
The truth came to me in the form of a little girl. A little girl sexually abused by her grandfather. It came to me in sorrow so wide and deep I thought I would drowned. Yet I grasped on to her little hand and knew that I had to be the BIG one, the brave one, to speak and to say, what perhaps she could not articulate.
I spoke for her and in doing so I spoke for me...I took her truth and held on.
Not grasping what is meant by the term Truth, is the key to all of life... All of life's abuse.
If you don't hold on to the little girls truth, you are holding the hand of the OFFENDER.
Pick one...and your life will be steered by what you grasp onto...
