I made it to the yoga mat today, the third time in a week. I was surprised that my yoga was waiting for me, that my poses were pretty much where I left them.
I was a little stiff, and a bit wobbly in locking my knee, and my middle had bulked out some, which didn't make that much of a difference.
Today, when I went into the first floor exercise, and lifted my left leg, the pain in my hip or joint area was very intense. As in the past, I began asking it what was its source...and when I said the word guilty, immediately I began to sob.
It felt like I was left feeling guilty for being abused, that I was carrying the guilt and it constricted me, made me curl into myself. I began doing what David Hawkins suggested, to cancel the guilt beliefs about myself, and breathed in the knowing of innocence.
As I do the floor exercises my belly button hernia sometimes bothers me, so I was rubbing that and wondering what belief or what message the body was delivering with this bulging of my guts. How did this develop... I asked was it that I was "spilling my guts" and nothing happened. I then pondered if I hated my guts, if I as disgusted with myself, and again immediately an emotional response. I acknowledge this wrong belief, feeling the innocent me getting this wrong...and then did the cancelling breathing and adding that I recieved the message from my body, that my belly no longer has to gain my attention. I will continue to do this in yoga now and see how things improve and change.
It is so telling that as children in our innocence we believe things due to the lack of adult supervision and correcting our distorted beliefs, and it becomes something we re-inforce as we unconsciously don't fully embrace ourselves.
We have to see where our innocence left and then make a correction in order to make changes in our minds. Our Spirit can recognize the place where we veered off the path of innocence and it too can bring us back.
What a very healing yoga session...working my body and correcting my mind.
Then, I went to do a Valentine Quilt, but what came to me was to work on the one Lady Quilt that was a work in progress.
My Valentine Lady is much more pensive than what I had pictured...perhaps I had to get this one out of the way, and then do one that represents a very much in love with herself Lady.
The Hearts say, "Broken - Open" and "Self - No one" and the bottom one says, "Self Love".
I see her as trying to protect herself from heartbreak, and yet her hearts break.
By feeling the loss you can become whole. Very interesting to me how this lady turned out. A broken heart can open you up to you.
