On the Extoots blog...http://extoots.blogspot.com was a comment that struck me "Even though I can't, as an "ex," speak on behalf of Laestadians, let me say that I am so sorry for the pain the church has caused our gay sisters and brothers. So sorry."
This started me thinking of all the people that I wrote off or ignored due to the preconceived idea that was planted into me. This preconception dictated how I would act. Like a robot, a good christian robot...I operated remotely, without taking into consideration the feelings of those who I would have no contact with.
I am sorry for the ones I ignored and thought less of or didn't even think about or wonder how it felt to be you...while I righteously marched on with my Beliefs.
What is even more intriguing to me, is the amount of times I didn't obey and befriended folks not from church and how I felt like I was letting someone down, misbehaving or being a 'poor christian', for I wasn't able to keep the 'devil' at arms length.
It seems I couldn't win for losing!
Now, being on the outside, no longer a robot, I have heard many mothers whose children have been dissed and how awful the little child feels and how she can't understand why certain children will not play with them. The dissed child takes this very personally.
And the child who has been told NOT to play with certain children is being taught to be racist and gets labeled "good christian" for doing this.
Looking back on my life, I have had friends from many different walks of life, I wasn't so good at doing the 'only kids from the church rule'. I would forget the rules and be friends...and most often religion wasn't even brought up. We were just kids exploring friendships.
If you sit and really think of all the wonderful people who get shoved aside due to this rule, and how it feels to be shunned due to your choice of religion, it does seem like our church too, owes many an apology.
How many little children were made to feel less than, in order for a christian child to be faithful to their belief? How is it right that one has to suffer in order for another to make it to Heaven? It has a flavor of abuse...in its connotation.
What does this alone teach the children...on both sides?
I did not due well in teaching this either... I allowed my children to make friends that they clicked with and allowed them to disengage when something made them no longer get along. I gave them the freedom to feel their way in and out of friendships. Again, feeling less of a christian for doing this, for not following the rules of the church and keeping not only my friends totally FALC, but those of my children as well.
Also, one of the factors that stood in the way of 'total FALC climate' was the fact that I married a man who was not from church. Again, I had broken the rule and followed my feelings.
What was considered a 'bad' person, is a very loving man...a man who doesn't follow any religion, but lives as himself.
We never discussed religion. I never tried to 'convert' him. And convert him into what? And he never tried to change me. We were respectfully our own selves.
While our union was seen as 'wrong' in the eyes of the church, it taught me that goodness isn't a religion, but rather how a man lives.
His word is his word. He does what he says he is going to do. Nothing stands between him and his feelings...there is no church thinking for him, he makes decisions based upon how he feels, what his life experiences have taught him. He has no filter that will keep certain folks out of his life...yet he does have boundaries, but they are based upon his own morals and values. Not dictated to him by a church board.
Thankfully, our family home took on more of his way of life than that of the church.
Who knew that one day, I would see that my weakness as a blessing in disguise!
I wasn't a person to be totally brainwashed....I had a few free cells.
And those few cells were enough to raise my awareness... this small crack was all that was needed for the truth to push into.
It is my hope that each person has a crack, a weakness...and at some point the truth will wiggle its way in...and the FALC robot will implode.
