The first "Take Back the Night" event happened. The panel arrived and spoke...into a very sparse audience. However, the newspaper and TV reporters were there taking notes and filming...so the reach was further than the four walls.
Each sharing held a part of a long journey of abuse, from the nurse who collects forensic evidence, to the Dial Help person who speaks in the schools, to a woman in charge of a new women's shelter....the detective and then me. All of us brought together for one common goal, to help victims of sexual abuse.
Our viewpoints vary, our expertise diverse, and our messages and intents sincere, hoping to light a spark within, to Shatter the Silence and begin the journey of breaking the pattern of abuse.
If one person changes the way they respond to sexual abuse, our night was a success.
The common theme is often, "I don't know what to do....I am not sure IF he is an abuser or I don't know what to say to the family I suspect abuse is going in...." are perfect responses. No one knows for certain what should be done, what is the right path, BUT what we all know for certain, doing nothing will stop nothing.
You don't have to be articulate, educated and have a plan in hand....but you do have to be willing to stick your neck out, to stand up and take the heat to spare a child. One panelist spoke of peer pressure or bystander accountability.
We as adults are very much accountable for what we do and say....or perhaps don't do and not say. No one wants to 'color' the pedophile wrongly....or they don't know what to say to the wife of a perp....or how to approach the children or extended family.
The subject of abuse is not one that is spoken out loud. And while we remain Unsure, the pedophiles remain very sure and confident of their mission....and the children's lives swing in the balance.
I for one, am not willing to excuse adult's behavior of "doing nothing" because they don't know what to do.
Dial Help. Call Tom Rosemurgy....their jobs are to help you help the children. You don't have to know what to do, but you do have to let those who can help know.
You know how to dial a phone. You know how to talk. You can state your fears, your suspicions....what the talk around the neighborhood is. If you know and don't make the call, you are standing on the side of abuse.....not against it.
I didn't arrive last night to sit on the panel with a volume of "knowing what to do"...but I did come with piles of information on what happens when you do nothing. I am the result. My family is the picture perfect example of 40 plus years of folks knowing and doing nothing.
The pattern of Not calling the detectives or Dial help has to be broken. Their lines should be inundated with calls and pleas of help. I know that there are folks who know, but don't know what to do.
I am here to tell you, you call. That is the first step to break out of the pattern of abuse. YOU call and ask for Help.
I am here too. I will walk with you. I will do what I can to help you to begin the process of exposing the monsters who are preying upon the children. The children are waiting for someone to break the silence...will it be you? And if not you who?
All of the panelists are waiting ready to serve....we are not expecting you to walk alone. We all arrived there last tonight to hold your hand. Reach out and we will be there. This is the job of a community, of many hands and avenues of expertise....no one is expected to do this alone. By making one call, you will enter into a vast community of folks who know what to do....you are not alone. Break the silence and you will find folks who can help.
The steps towards healing and standing against abuse is to be the one to dare shatter the silence! Children are suffering behind the sturdy wall of doing nothing.
