I would have a hard time remembering me being in the dark about abuse...of not even considering it or being drawn into conversations about victims of childhood sexual abuse. That me seems so far back there, like way way way back, a woman I barely can recall.
When I saw a woman last week and heard her speak in fear of speaking out...it took me a few days to remember, that I once was her. I forgot the trembling nerves to even begin to begin saying out loud and taking actions about abuse. How the language was so foreign, and the feelings and emotions feeling like mountains that seemed to crush my breath. To feel the slippery slope of my life sliding in the direction I didn't want to go, but had no way of stopping...taking me with it very reluctantly for there was nothing to hold on to...air and a bottomless space was all that was there.
I didn't see me in her...I expected instead for me to be in her. Which is impossible, without her walking any of my steps. I didn't see her at all. I talked to her without taking into consideration she was just moving into the swirling waters of coming to terms with the affects of abuse and its long reaching fingers.
I heard Ram Dass speaking to Oprah today, and the way he sees folks now, is that they are all in various carnations. That there is a soulful reason for the life we are living that is beyond our roles. That we are here to learn and grow our souls.
Very intriguing to look at life from the angle of the soul, instead of how we typically see life is from our roles.
The more horrific the life; a Master is being born.
I can see that there are various soul ages...for some are just beginning to awaken to the life beyond what is routinely paid attention to; the body, the mind and ego...our ages, friends and hobbies.
There is a collection of us who are finding a deeper level to living here...one where awareness broadens and we begin to see more and more.
When I was less aware...the truth could slip by in broad day light and I would not see it. It was always there, but I had my attention else where.
As I visited with this woman, I could see that her awareness was being drawn to the truth...and there wasn't anything she could do to stop it...and it frightened her and she didn't have experience joining it in words and actions; like a frightened child with no tools in her toolbox.
It gave me the perspective I needed and she helped me recognize me just a few years back...and in doing so gave me empathy in seeing her as her....and me as me.
She has been in my thoughts....it was like spending time with my younger self.
Empathy is seeing yourself in others...and wondering what would my younger self need to know most?
And thinking of this...I think she was given all the help she needed to begin her journey towards truth. Truth! Truth was the courage I clung to.
