From Mark Nepo's "Book of Awakening"
"I have been blessed to have deep friends in my time on Earth. They have been an oasis when my life has turned a desert. They have been a cool river to plunge in when my heart has been on fire. When I was ill, one toweled my head when I couldn't stand without bleeding. Another bowed at my door saying, "I will be whatever you need as long as you need it."
"Still others have ensured my freedom, and they missed me while I searched for bits of truth that only led me back to them. I have slept in the high lonely wind waiting for God's word. And while it's true - no one can live for you - singing from the peak isn't quite the same as whispering in the center of a circle that has carried you ashore."
"Honest friends are doorways to our souls, and loving friends are the grasses that soften the world. It is no mistake that the German root of the word Friendship means "place of high safety." This safety opens us to God. As Cicero said, "A friend is a second self." And as Saint Martin said, "My friends are the beings through whom God loves me."
"There can be no greater or simpler ambition than to be a friend." Mark Nepo
Friends. I have certainly had many...of all sizes, shapes and personalities and yet, very few have remained on my entire journey.
When I look at the people who were my place of high safety, they changed over time, depending upon what I needed to feel safe.
Inside of the cult of religion it was safe to have similar folks. I felt safe around sameness.
As a person who felt safe not looking for truth. I needed others to not be looking; I felt safe in the dark with others who wanted to remain in the dark.
As I broke down the walls of being 'safely' in the dark about abuse and religion, I then changed the kinds of friends I now needed.
It seems that as you change what safe means for you, your friends will change.
Safe before was remaining hidden in the dark. The more I came out, the more uncomfortable some friendships grew and then died.
Very interesting to know that friends mean "A place of High Safety."
In my experience, my feelings of being safe has drastically changed, and very few relationships have come with me. What is also good to know, is that my husband and my home is still a place of High Safety.
A deep friendship is a place where you can feel safe. Where it is safe to be you. A place that accepts your truth and you are safe.
So very telling in abusive childhoods....We lose the friendship of our parents when they abuse us. For we learn we are not being kept safe. And then it seems, at least to me, we work like hell to feel "friendly". What I didn't know is, we are trying to force ourselves to feel safe in an environment that is not safe.
A home that houses abuse, cannot entertain friendships.
