I thought there was a strip of land between true and not true. A place where folks could agree with me, but not like in total agreement. Sorta like a path in the zoo, where you are not in the cage, but near it. Still in the zone, but not totally committed.
Yet as I was trying to write and figure out, are there really three places?
One being true,
the other being not true,
and then this spot in the middle between them. And if that was true, what is the middle spot called?
Supposedly, we all know what is true and what is not true and yet more often than not, I find folks living as if the truth never happened.
How is that possible?
All I can figure out is they live in the space between true and not true.
Where they know what the truth is and what it would require....but are not willing to live there. And they are not quite willing to be seen as totally nuts, as to believe what is not true, so they live in the space between.
In this space between, it requires nothing.
It demands nothing.
It allows all things.
You are not committed to the truth; in a cage of only one way...nor are you sitting with the unbelievers; you are strolling along a path that doesn't touch either side.
However, what I have found is the truth is very rigid and tight. It doesn't allow for leisurely space of indecision...or waffling. You are either with it or you are not.
What I believe is that most folks don't want to openly admit they are against the truth...for that would be plain insane to say.
Instead they tell themselves many things that circle the cage, but never enter it.
Entering into the land of truth, starts an avalanche, where the land 'between' rapidly begins to slide out from beneath you...the comfortable path disappears, leaving you standing nowhere or... in the truth, the tight cage.
While many want to believe that there is an honorable place to stand outside of truth, I myself have not found it.
In fact the only secure ground I found, was with the truth; all the rest was like a mirage.
This mirage is built when reality is too harsh to live.
Yet it is a mirage...for when you get right up to it and look deeply, it all disappears...and reality rears its ugly head.
So, while my true story of my childhood is not so easy to deal with, it is much easier than standing on a mirage.
There is substance in reality.
I looked up the meaning of true.
"Consistent with fact or reality; not false or erroneous."
What I believe is that I have been consistent with reality and its facts. Reality and its facts doesn't allow for any wiggle room. It either is or it is not. That is why I see the truth as being in a cage; confined to what is.
It doesn't have the options of choice.
I see myself now as a prisoner of the truth...where my choices are no longer a choice...I walk as it dictates.
Would this mean that if others see me with options, that they are not confined to the truth? That they are living outside of its constraints...free to not follow the truth.
Most often the discussion is not so much about what I am doing, but rather that I am choosing this option for me, what it is right for me...it feels right for me etc.
When in actuality, what I am doing is just lining up with reality...it isn't about me, but about what is true.
It is my dance partner; it leads and I follow. Otherwise I am standing on nothing.
