It is that time a year when on my route, I get to see babies in nature. The ones I particularly love, are the fawns. They are so wobbly and tiny, and yet expected to cross the roads quickly behind their moms. I have seen three sets this spring.
This little one got confused. It did not follow the mom, and was making crying noises. When I got between the baby and his mom, she came back across the road and stood between me and baby. And she began making distress noises. I drove off, letting them be in peace. And, forgetting to get her picture. You can tell by the size of the "For Sale" sign, how tiny it is.
Further on the route, on a paved road, I again watched a mom cross the road, and a baby start, hesitate and then go back to the side of the road and lay down.
So, I slowly drove up and snapped this picture.
This is right on the side of the pavement....I am just leaning out of my passenger window. It can almost hide in the short grass.
As I am taking this picture, the mom comes back across the road, but quickly disappears in the trees. I again, leave...knowing I am causing them both stress.
What amazes me is how attentive the mothers are in nature, and how defensive of their little ones, how they will put themselves in the way of danger to save their child. The natural mother instinct to protect, is alive and well out in the wild.
What a marvel that without parenting classes they do this so well. I said to the momma deer that stood and pranced in distress...."Good Mom, you are doing a good job!"
And then there is the human species, who seem to fail at this in rising numbers.
I am not sure if our natural mother instincts are disengaged, or do we not recognize danger?
In my experience, my body had a warning system fully engaged, but my mind overrode this "fear" signal. It first of all deleted the molestation pictures or failed to even record them. So, all I had was a beeping body, but nothing else to go on. My fears of my father seemed groundless and false.
I was unable to discern danger...for I wanted my mind to agree.
As a child, in order to survive, our minds protect us. By not remembering the abuse. And this alone disengages the danger knowing. We can't survive in childhood, with all of our faculties, IF we know, we are in danger. Yet, oddly, what we don't feel is safe. We are not if full blown danger, but nor are we relaxed and feeling cared for.
I have been thinking about what I could contribute to Dial Help as a hand out. For they handed to me what was abuse. I am thinking, instead there needs to be a worksheet, that is similar to "You know you're a Redneck, IF...."
So, it would be, "You know you're a victim, IF..."
The way the human body and mind work together to help us survive, is the hurdle we need to overcome in order to get back to who we were prior to abuse.
This mechanism that is automatic, pre-sets us into believing what is not real...and not believing that which IS.
Our inner sight and knowing is completely backwards.
It is my belief, that there are many folks just like me in the FALC, who have this psychic blindness. And we are asking the blind to see. How?
I am not sure I can articulate this accurately, to portray the dilemma any agency will have to flip this around, for they are living in a sea of danger and are unaware.
The momma deer, knows I am a danger to her child.
The woman who is married to a pedophile doesn't see the danger.
What I do believe, though, at least in my experience...is that the child is trying to teach the parent. The child is giving out signals that the parent is missing.
But what I also know to be true in most cases, is that the parent themselves are abused and their own pain has them so self absorbed, they can't see their children.
They haven't healed from their own childhoods...so they don't know how to mother naturally, and to know danger. Unlike animals in nature, we don't know who the predators are.
And when this is so, the children are left unprotected. It is open season all year round, and a child has no one to hear their cries.
