Driving home from the meeting last night, pondering my status as a woman representing the victim end, it came to me that I am not a victim, but a woman who has experienced being a victim. While to some, this slight viewpoint may not seem like much, it is everything.
Being a spokesperson for the victim team if you will, I want the message to be that we are experiencing the affects of abuse., we are wounded.
Just as people experience going through cancer, we are experiencing going through abuse...we no more want to be stuck, but rather be in the process of leaning towards health.
Depending upon how long we have gone untreated, the process will vary.
I lived untreated for 46 years, and by the time I recognized that who I had been living as wasn't the natural me, but a me that grew awkwardly due to abuse, I had a whole life built.
There is a vast difference between my natural self and the one that lived so as I could survive living among my abusers.
Once I separated myself from my family, my natural self was able to start flourishing.
What I want all victims to know, is that abuse is something you experience, and it is there to show you many things; about your self and others. It is not you, but something that happened to you. It can be a great teacher in showing you what kind of boundaries you have and perhaps how to start building new ones. It can be the start of a beautiful growing process.
Experiencing what you will not tolerate, shows you what you will. I am hopeful that Women In New Directions will be a safe place to explore all facets of being a woman. Many women with varied experiences.
Our experiences shape us and we can be a co-creator, depending upon our responses. Sexual abuse isn't a state of being, it is an experience.
