What I learned today at Dial Help, is that you can't help someone who doesn't see themselves as part of the problem; if all your troubles are due to other folks, you will be lost forever.
Lost in a sea of one crisis after another.
Most people who call the crisis lines, call about having a crisis with other people; very few will say that they are the problem for their troubles. They can't see the choices that they made that led them to this point....but, they can only see how others need to change.
When, in fact, they are the key reason for their lives spinning out of control. But, if you can't admit that you are the problem, your problems will continue to grow.
It is very interesting to see how your life can change. And equally as interesting to see how you will continue to suffer, if you wait for others to make you happy.
I didn't even try to change my family around, but spent all of my time and energy to change me. I didn't realize that this was the only way out...but tonight, I was able to see how futile it is to look for your life to change, by wanting others to be different.
I was able to turn my life around, by turning myself around. I didn't look for anyone to change at all. The only thing that made changes in my life, was when I made new choices.
I know this may seem elementary to most of you, but when folks find themselves in a life that is spinning out of control, they immediately look and see others making it spin, rarely do they see that they are the only ones on the merry-go-round.
Our lives are like mini worlds, and we are the axel upon which it spins. If you don't like the direction it is going, you are the only one who can make it stop and change direction.
And, making someone realize that they are hand that is spinning their top, is the biggest job and the first step in true healing.
As long as you believe anyone has the power to spin your life, you are helpless.
Without the person in crisis seeing their hand in the vortex of spinning, they will not be able to stop the momentum.
In the past, I had trouble with vertigo, and when it felt like my body was spinning or when I would awake in frozen terror, IF I could move one finger, just a bit, I could stop the spinning or break the spell. I had to interject me into an otherwise spell upon me.
Waking in frozen terror was so dibilitating. It wasn't the terror, but my lack of being able to move. Or I would spin and not be able to stop....both had me powerless. UNLESS, I could move.
This is exactly how it is to change your life. You have to move. You have to become activated.
Ironically or not, I have not woken up frozen in terror since knowing that my father was a pedophile. And my vertigo has been gone now for at least 5 years. When I began making conscious choices, my unconsciousness didn't have to show me how frozen I was and how my life was spinning out of control.
