Do you know what a Nice person is? And is there a difference between a Nice person and a Good person? This conversation was playing on Sirius radio as I delivered mail. (1999 re-broadcast of Oprah's TV Show)
I looked up the definition of Nice. "Pleasant, Agreeable, Satisfactory" were the first three meanings.
I discovered, I am not a nice person, but that I am a good person. I have moments when I am not agreeable and certainly not satisfactory, or pleasant.
However, for years I worked very hard at being Nice, pleasant and was extremely agreeable.
My main intentions was always to be liked. I didn't have intentions beyond that. I wanted people to think of me as being nice.
I gave up my personal integrity for the sake of being seen as nice.
Now, I would much rather be a person of integrity, than be seen as nice.
Nice now almost has a victim like status to me...or at least a person who is unable to stand up; it signals a weakness... not an admirable trait.
Nice means you agree with all, and are never disagreeable.
I am finding it hard to quit going to a hairdresser, that it wouldn't be 'nice' to find a new one, to try out a new hair artist. Same goes for groups I have been part of for many years, even though I know I have outgrown their borders, it would feel 'unkind' to quit.
How odd is that, we focus on how our moving on impacts others, MORE than our staying too long impacts us.
I did take the plunge and called a new hair lady...and I have a new Women's group in the works, so I guess instead of making an announcement I am leaving, I did make a point in talking of my newest adventure.
Why is it so hard to leave groups to change relationships even if it is with a hairdresser?
Why is it seen as not nice when we take care of our selves and stand by our likes and dislikes, or make improvements, or seek groups that will take us to our next level?
Somehow self-growth and our feelings have taken a back seat to appearing nice.
What I know is that my journey in the past 7 years has given me a new label, and it isn't nice.
However, the woman inside is one that I am very proud of. She is strong, confident and has no troubles standing up for what she feels is right or her truth.
I like myself much better, since I gave up being nice.
My Lady isn't nice, she is many things, but nice isn't one of them.
