"The people who have lost their parents and families due to abuse deserve the utmost respect and support. These people have risked it all to heal and stand up for the truth. These people are heroes and angels who hold a horrific reality for everyone else. They have suffered and escaped, and for that, I bow my head in reverence." Rythea Lee
What I love about her writtings, is how she totally gets it from the point of view of the abused; how we lost our parents and families due to abuse. What a different perspective compared to how most see me...as leaving a family...and not that I lost a family.
Slight is the angle of words, yet how vast is the difference. One blames me, the other corrects that.
One seems to set me as uncaring...like if I cared enough I could have a family.
That a family is still there waiting, not a collection of toxic relationships.
Vital is the difference in understanding, there is no family there.
No nurturing loving cove.
I love how she writes, "hold a horrific reality for everyone else" Yes, that seems perfect to me. Nice to be acknowledge from the outside.
Rythea also writes, "We do not live in a world where abuse is acknowledged and dealt with as an epidemic, relentless, radical situation. If we did, there would be systems of support that help families, children, and adult survivors prevent and heal from trauma. There would be programs in schools teaching children about abuse and encouraging them to speak up about things that are happening to them. There would be extensive programs for all parents to learn and share about abuse prevention and treatment. There would be funding put forward for a complete revamping of our foster care system, which, as it is, does not protect children in foster care. The entire mentality of “family” would be questioned and explored in our communities and organizations to foster support at every level of functioning."
I love that she too uses the word epidemic...and that it is relentless. Very few acknowledge the volume, even when the numbers are as she writes, "One out of 4 girls and one out of 6 boys will experience contact sexual abuse by the age of 18 (Adverse Childhood Experiences Study, 2005). This statistic should cause the kind of alarm that is aimed at war and environmental break -down. What could be more important than a child’s safety? Isn’t it obvious that child abuse becomes the stem of violence that pervades our nation and beyond?"
I love her frankness and where she directs her focus. I feel the weight of blame being directed at me, changing course. Just reading, that I lost a family, I didn't leave one, makes my body relax...I always felt it was no different than losing them all in a tragic accident...yet they are not dead.
I bow my heart in thanks, for getting our walk...and for you caring enough to write your experience of seeing me. It feels good to be seen and understood.
These quotes were written by Rythea Lee. Her new book Trauma into Truth: Gutsy Healing and Why It’s Worth It is available at Amazon.com. Rythea Lee has a private practice in Northampton, Massachusetts and teaches workshops and classes for healing and self-expression. You can read more about her and her dance theatre company, the Zany Angels, at http://www.zanyangels.com . You can also see Rythea Lee perform on youtube.
