As reality is working to right itself at Penn State, it offers a wealth of conversation about what serves the victims and then what serves those who are standing on the side of abuse; even in knowing silences.
You will not satisfy both sides.
As a victim who has known the 'other side' of these men in high places, it does wonders to see them put into reality. Not lower than they should be, just where they ought to be.
We don't want fantascies, but we do want reality.
It is a secondary pain to have an abuser held up to high esteem or to be put at the head of the table. It messes with our psyche, to have such extreme opposites exist.
And when folks who are not abusing, but in friendships or looking toward the abusers or those who know and do nothing as if they are normal or even a pillar in society, we begin to doubt our own minds.
Seeing reality focusing into place that matches our experiences, corrects our minds and settles our psyche.
It matters greatly, no matter how many years later, to have these corrections made.
It isn't so much justice, but reality righting itself.
What I believe causes the most stress and anxiety after abuse, is the way 'normal' folks react to our abuser. We feel we are insane, when no one treats him any differently. He gets treated normal or even higher than normal, while we are left knowing a truth that no one appears to see. And eventually, we too begin to believe how others act over our own knowing and truth.
Reality is much easier to navigate if all people see and respond to abuse the same, but this will not happen. For many want to preserve a reality, prior to abuse or knowing of abuse, so silence ensues. If no one acts like abuse exists, perhaps it will fade away.
Penn State offers to us, what happens when many are silent. AND, what happens when many speak up.
The boys who spoke up, are the heroes and they are served each time a person who knew and did nothing leaves.
It shows it was wrong. Wrong is what we want to hear, for it matches with our reality.
I am hopeful that one day the FALC will have its day in the sun, where the eyes of the world will see what lies there and it will match my eyes. Where the pillars will fall. All it takes is for the abused to speak up. One at a time. Each voice is a nudge that will push the top down.
Speaking up is power for the victims and will leave the abusers powerless. You never know if it is your story, that is the final straw.
