I am reading "8 Habits of Love - Open Your Heart, Open Your Mind by Ed Bacon.
It is interesting in how we see ourselves in our story, as a victim, a hero or a learner.
In writing the story three ways, you will see the difference in feelings within each.
Somehow in lots of my writings, I do start out as the victim, then can go into the hero mold, but the learner role is one that I am most intrigued with. By the end of each blog, I usually learn something not only about abuse, but about my life. Here is what Ed wrote.
"My friend and co-worker, Theodora, introduced me to a transformative rubric for life that was developed by Betty Sue Flowers, an author and educator. In a conference Theodora attended, the presenter asked everyone to write a brief outline of their autobiography in three different ways: first as a victim, then as a hero, and finally as a learner."
"Those are three very different stories with three very different energies, and three very different outcomes. A victim feels the need to be defended, vindicated, or avenged. A hero needs justification, ego promotion, or validation."
"And a learner? A learner seeks illumination, correction, and direction."
"Learners open themselves to discovering the new in every situation, particularly challenging ones. To use a powerful phrase of Archbishop Tutu’s, the victim and hero mind-sets want only to perpetuate the “safe sameness”— the predictable and familiar. This is a closed mind-set. When I’m coming to Stillness, I frequently start out feeling more like a victim or a hero. Once I relax more deeply, I know that something transformative and fear reversing is going on as I feel myself relaxing, lowering my defenses, opening up, and becoming a learner." Ed Bacon
If we look at life as a learner of it, we will be more open, more expansive and more eager to explore the whys of our lives.
Learning about me and how I was formed, what my make up was and why I did the things I did and what was my frame of mind and or level of awareness has been a great lesson in learning about me.
Being a Learner leaves you living in a wide open space...free to explore and be. I will now say, I am a learner of abuse.
