"The Buddha said that in order to be free, one must accept, even embrace, suffering." Mary Pipher
I heard this women being interviewed on XM Radio...and so I ordered her book.
Here is what I love...so far.
"There are three kinds of secrets—those we keep from certain people but not others; those we keep from everyone, and those we keep from ourselves. Writing this book forced me to deal with all three. Many formerly private aspects of my life are now public. Even Jim and my children learned new things about me. And as I explored my own life, I was shattered to discover many aspects of my experience I had long avoided. For most of my life, I have recalled good times and loving moments."
"When I remembered my girlhood, I painted myself into scenes as a happy, loved girl, filled with honorable intentions. I worked to construct a temple of comforting beliefs—that I was nurtured, respected, and in control. With this quest, I have probed deep layers of memory that I had long struggled to ignore. As I faced the facts and examined painful recollections, I realized that what happened to me is both more unpleasant and more interesting than my previous “official” story. When I finally gave myself permission to travel with my eyes open, my reactions have been a clamorous mix of “Hallelujah” and “Ouch.” Mary Pipher "Seeking Peace"
It is true, that when you write you can no longer escape your secrets and in writing I often struggled with wanting to hide things, again....and then I make myself be truthful...as I can...so I don't build another story to hide behind.
Here is another part that I liked...
"Of course, not all people grow from crises. Some refuse to accept the need for redefinition, and orchestrate their own intellectual and emotional shutdown. Those who do grow manage to stay awake to the anguish, confusion and self-doubt. This requires a high tolerance for discomfort, as well as the ability to see the world as it is, not as they wish it to be. Over time, the people who continue to struggle emerge wiser, kinder and more resilient. After they have broken and rebuilt themselves, they feel less breakable." Mary Pipher
And a quote I took from her radio interview was..."We all suffer, but we don't all grow."
It is true we all will suffer, but we will not all grow from our suffering....and to me that seems like you suffer for nothing. To stay awake to the anquish, confusion and self doubt...will grow.
I have had a long spell of growing...and I would not trade my journey with anyone.
They say, "You are as sick as your secrets...." I guess it would make more sense to say you are as weak as the secrets you keep. My strength came from being transparent.
