While doing yoga today, I could clearly feel how yoga isn't for the body, but to the residual affects of not following your truth. That all the times I did not feel and follow my feelings and emotions, left a trail of unease....and this unease lingers in the cells and muscle of the body, waiting to be seen/felt/expressed.
I also wondered what is guilt. Where is the guilt organ or muscle found....
What came to me is that guilt is not doing that which you feel is your truth.
It truly isn't about anyone else.
What also came is that guilt is NOT about not helping others, but rather NOT following your self.
The guilt feelings are you not being able to be honest and authentic to you. To follow what you know is true, regardless of how long you have been living a life of lies to yourself.
So, yoga to me, is ridding your self of the places you are not true to you...and bringing up the feelings and emotions you shoved aside in order to please another.
The reason I have no new guilt, is that I have now been living my life from the inside out, from what is true for me.
As Martha Beck said, "I repectfully don't care..." what others want or need me to do.
My first and only person I have to be at peace with is my self.
I am no longer willing or able to store up un-felt emotions or push aside what I feel in order to make your life comfortable or right.
What came too, was that the church is based upon guilty feelings. And I can see why a cult member would be ravaged with guilt. For, they are not following their own North Star, but instead following what the leader wants.
And, in dysfunctional homes the parent, no matter who impaired is held in high esteem....and honored and respected. Typically demanding each.
If you dare to speak what you feel and act accordingly, you will not store volumes of moments where you did the opposite of what your true self believed.
Somehow we have screwed up serving others first....and serving them while discounting our self. I believe, you are not truly giving if you are going against your inner self.
If, in order to be 'giving and kind' you have squelch your feelings...you are hurting yourself to give.
How can that be kind, if you are unkind to yourself.
Guilt is when you neglect your own inner feelings in order to serve another.
You are leaving yourself behind. And, I believe, this dis ease, this contradiction is stored in your body....there are feelings that are not at peace. At some point, the body's health will gain your attention.
The body is innocent...but stored in the tissues are all the years of neglecting your spirit...
Yoga brings up the unease.
