This blog has been a great place for me to speak and to be heard. Even if, just one person were to read it...I was heard.
This blog has offered me a place to talk about abuse, to say what I feel needed to be said, about family and church and how both played a crucial part in my abuse. I feel that I have done my due diligence to be one who knew and said something. It was my intention to expose what many would love to keep hidden...I did at 46, what some feel I should have done as a child.
This blog has been a great sanctuary for my feelings, my confusions, my pain, and heartache...a place to release into the Universe the affects of abuse and my struggles to find a way to not repeat my family's legacy.
This blog has been filled with huge affirmations, epiphanies, insights, clarity and knowing... A place where I could bring my angst and come away with answers. I was the most surprised most often how the post would end.
I didn't begin this blog with an agenda or a goal in mind. It was just that I felt I wanted to share my journey, in hopes that someone out there would find comfort in knowing they were not alone.
I wrote for myself, but always felt that maybe what I discovered, would help another.
This post is number 1278. Somedays I wrote two, but for the most part I have been writing on here for over 3 1/2 years. That in itself seems incredible to me.
I have thought of quitting the blog from time to time Or that I have come to the end of what I can possibly say about abuse and living with it's affects....and now I am thinking that day has come.
I will not shut this blog down or delete it, I will let it be here. I will come to it when I feel I have something to share...when it fits the subject about sexual abuse. When my wounded self once again needs to explore and know what troubles it.
What I aim to do is begin a second blog, "Imperfect Too".
I see Imperfect Too, being more about the creative expression...about my artwork and stretching and growing that. I want to create a blog that will have inspiration of the Artful kind. I want to work on marketing My Lady and her quilts and put her artwork on cards and canvases....letting her great energy move out into the world. I want my daughters photographs to have a portal to pass through. I want her and I to work on learning how to make a shopping cart, etc to become the power behind marketing our Art.
I feel it is time now to change the focus in my life towards being more artful and less reflective.
Now, that I know fully who I am...I believe I can now be me.
I feel that this blog holds who I am and how I became to be....and "Imperfect Too" will be about finding a way to express artfully Me.
Both the light and dark are who we are. I have explored and dug and felt and purged the darkness for almost 8 years. I have written to find me and now I will write as I try and live the artful free life of My Lady.
"Imperfect Too"....will be My Lady and I...how we both grow forward.
Just like my art quilts....I first create the background and then I add the lady...so too is my life. My background is now firmly in place...who will I now be from here?
