Happy Valentine's Day is over and I have to say it was like any other day...except for a few cards. What is great about this, is that my husband and I share many moments of love, so yesterday wasn't special, it was just another day...yet another special day. A day of easy love...not a love that had to try and be something special.
I recall past Valentine's Days, where I believed that it needed to be special, that it had to be loaded with tons of romance or whatever the culture called love. Maybe it is my age or wisdom, but I see things so much differently.
I see him differently, Me for sure differently and life absolutely differently...and Love.
Love isn't about showboating, or getting the biggest bunch of flowers, it is about living life in truth, honor and respect...on just an ordinary day, as well as on special days.
As we were out to dinner, I noticed something wonderful, it was just like any other dinner. So, for me, I have many Valentine's dinners a month...in our weekly dates.
Valentine's day is not the one special day a month, where you try and put aside the discords and troubles, and 'be' loving, but rather it is everyday.
Our life is lived in gentle harmony, and has moments of high anxiety when trouble arrives, but we swim into the center of turmoil and find our peace with it.
I know love isn't found in the cards, flowers and candy, but it is found when you face together all of life's challenges and honor each other's opinions and viewpoints while maintaining your own individuality.
It isn't an easy dance...to be a together and apart, to be one and two...but it is achievable with the right amount of vulnerability and humility and trust...using empowerment, voice and choice.
It is complicated to form...and the more trouble that comes your way, and you survive, the deeper the connection grows.
We can't know how long it will last, what bends are up ahead, but we can always know each of us will be ourselves...fully and honestly. It is because each of us are not willing to let our integrity slide.
What attracted me to him, was his sense of self. His not caring what others thought or whether he fit into his peer group, or if he was in style or said and did the 'right' things, he was always impossibly himself.
When I learned to do the same, our love grew deeper. For, you can only love someone with the same depth and breath that you love your self and be your self.
I don't even know that my husband knows how much he loves himself...but what he has always been the most faithful to...is himself. He rarely cheats and does something he doesn't want to do. He fearlessly says no. The only time, I have seen him jepordize his values is to be kind. He is kinder than I. He will give kindness to be civil.
I am grateful to have experienced this wonderful journey of Love with him...learning how to be imperfectly Me. To me, there is no greater love than being able to be 100% your self.
