I am reading Dr. Robin Smith's new book, "Hungry - The Truth about being Full."
"Fiction: If you reveal your real self, you'll be rejected."
"Truth: If you're encouraged to be someone other than your real self, that is rejection."
Experience can be a cruel teacher if the lesson you learn from childhood is that the real you is unacceptable. It usually begins in small ways: "Don't say that." "Don't eat that." "Don't wear that." "Don't want that." "You did what?" "Fix your face." The messages can even feel benevolent. Parents say, "I'm doing this for your own good." But the visceral feelings is shame - shame that you're not good enough."
"Shame is at the heart of hiding and denying hunger - a deep fear that you are so fundamentally unlovable that no one will want you if they knew the real you. A man I know died of suicide after he lost his money in the stock market - an extreme example. I can think of nothing sadder than a person who believes their very essence is unacceptable and unworthy of living unless they are always successful and "on top."
"Living behind a mask may make things comfortable in the short term, but do you really want friends, lovers, and even collegues to like and appreciate you for the mask? Or do you hunger to be accepted for your real self, warts and all? The arid life behind the mask chokes off breath and free will. A woman I know tells the story of her grandfather, who was raised in a religious Roman Catholic family. But, for most of his adult life snuck into Quacker Meetings. In his heart, he defined himself as a Quacker - all the while pretending to be a Catholic to keep peace in the family. Only after his death was the truth revealed. His freedom to be himself happened in death. My heart went out to him when I heard his story. I imagined his closed world, his unacceptable secret, and how lonely it must have been for him to keep his true nature locked away. His story represents the fear we all have to be ourselves. Sneaking to Quacker Meetings for worship was a brave step...at least he was trying to honor his hunger pains."
"I often hear people proclaiming, "I want to be loved for the real me." In reality, however, they worry that the price of authenticity will be too high. The truth is, there is no higher price than the one paid for living a life that is a lie." Dr. Robin
So far, and I am only a few pages in, I love this book...it is about "Dying to be Me!"
